Four Thousand E-mails

Wanting to keep my entry lighthearted this time, I thought hard about a topic that still relates to school counseling. While sitting at my school computer, I had an "a ha!" moment. I spend almost 3 hours a day looking at my computer screen and either making phone calls or sending e-mails. The other 4 hours I actually get to talk to kids, attend meetings, and work on various projects.

So, the day I had this idea, I looked in my e-mail "trash" bin. I had 4150 e-mails and the last date I emptied it was on November 23rd. So from November 23rd to February 22, I had 4150 e-mails. So, I decided to break that down. That was 11 weeks of school minus Saturdays and Sundays. That leaves me with 5 work days a week times 11 weeks. So 4150 e-mails divided by 55 work days equals 75 e-mails per day? Could that be possible??!! I walked over to my wall calendar and counted the days, subtracting Thanksgiving and Christmas break. Yep, that's my average amount of e-mails to read per day. If each one averages 30 seconds to read, and 1 1/2 minutes to respond, then 2 minutes per e-mail would be 2 1/2 hours per day spent reading and answering e-mails.

So what in the world could be the content of that many e-mails per day? Luckily some of them I can delete right away. We have a "BBay" listserve (sorta like Ebay), and I can delete those e-mails without reading them (maybe 5 per day average). Those are the easy ones to eliminate. The others are from various school employees and parents (and yes a few from my husband as that's the best way to communicate about the evening activities for the girls). I get e-mails from the Tech Department, the other counselors, my assistant principal, my principal, teachers, and parents~ all of which require a timely response most of the time.

Sometimes I prefer not to answer e-mail, but instead go to the person who sent me the e-mail and talk with them, or pick up the phone and call someone. So, that actually takes MORE than 2 minutes per e-mail, which leads me to my next Math problem . . . .

There Was an "Old" Woman Who Lived in a School

. . . She Had So Many Children, She Didn't Know What to Do!!

I feel like the old woman who lived in a shoe, but unlike her, I refuse to live out the nursery rhyme:

"she gave them some broth without any bread, then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed."

Instead, I'd like to rearrange the words a bit:

There was an "old" woman who lived in a school

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do

She gave them advice, to put in their head

Told them to eat well, and go early to bed.

I know that sounds silly, but I am at my wits end a lot of days with all the requests to come talk to me and not enough time to take care of each one. Unlike the old woman, I want to take care of each of their needs and requests. I don't have a simple solution or answer, when I have 345 students in my care, but I do view the students as my children while they are in the school building. I try to treat them as their parents would expect that I would, and in some cases, I try to treat them better!

There is a recommended ratio of 1 to 250 students, which would help tremendously if each school would follow that guideline, but unfortunately, it is an area where more money would be needed, and in this time of economic crisis, it is actually being taken away. Mental health issues among young people are on the rise and I am at a loss as to what the answer is. I only pray that each parent out there loves and cherishes his/her child so that the child doesn't need to see a school counselor. Idealistic, maybe. Realistic? I would say yes, it is realistic to expect that from parents. Actual? No, I think some parents are too overwhelmed and burdened trying to manage their own mental health that their children's often suffer, even if not intentionally.

For now, I will continue to feel like I have so many children I don't know what to do, and be glad that I have a job to go to every day where I can do what I can!

Snow Days are Good Days

Many in the education world are divided on the topic of snow days. Some would rather not have any, so their year in the spring is not extended. Some take the position that I do~ a snow day a year is good for the mind and soul. At a time when days at school are more hectic and more busy, it's nice to be at home for a day or two to let my mind settle, much like letting dust settle in the attic. When you finally go up there and wipe the dust off, you find treasures you forgot you had.

Giving my mind a rest from the mental energy it takes to spend most of my 7 hour day talking to people (teachers, parents, students, administration, administrative assistants, other counselors, the nurse . . . you get the picture?), is quite a relief.

This year the snow days couldn't have been more timely. I had just come down with the respiratory illness that over 70 students have been calling in absent for each day recently. Did I spend my time cleaning the house because it is always a mess? No. I spent it wandering from room to room doing whatever I felt like doing. I would sit in the sun room and read for awhile, go to the computer and look at Facebook, drink glasses and glasses of hot tea for my throat, and pull out all my scrapbooking paraphernalia (only to discover that my children have aged 4 years in what I thought was only 4 months!).

Yes, it has been a wonderful two days off, letting my mind slip into la la land and not worry about returning a phone call or getting to a meeting on time.

Snow Days ARE Good Days!

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Business often increases in guidance and counseling offices across the country during the months of January and February. There is no doubt that some people suffer from what is now called Seasonal Affective Disorder, which in summary, is a lack of sunshine in their lives. The days are darker, colder, and just plain miserable at times. Symptoms often mirror those of depression: hopelessness, anxiety, loss of appetite, and oversleeping, among others. Instead of writing about it, I am including a link to the Mayo Clinic, who has a great article about it.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195/DSECTION=symptoms

I guess the most important thing to remember if you or someone you know suffers from SAD is that you can get through it. My tips to my students that I talk to are these:
1. Get outside if possible, or sit by a sunny window in the house for a half hour each day.
2. Exercise
3. Get 8-9 hours of sleep each night
4. Read something you enjoy reading about
5. Watch funny TV shows or movies
6. Eat healthy
7. If you like to write, start a journal of your thoughts (or a blog like me!)
8. If you are spiritual, pray for the strength to get through the tough time

Sweet Aunt Nancy

My Aunt Nancy may never know how truly special she is to me. I know she is special to a lot of people, but I want to share why she is such a special person. Aunt Nancy is 80 years old, exactly twice my age. She has been around ever since I was born!

From as far back as I can remember, Aunt Nancy has taken the place of a grandparent in my mind. She bought me my very first bike (new and not a hand me down!). I am getting side tracked. Buying me things is not why she is special to me!

Aunt Nancy and her former husband, Uncle Stan, know the value of work. When I was about 10 I started doing chores for them when I went over to their house, and they would pay me a fair price for my labor, although I think they stuck in a few extra bucks just for me! I remember vividly scraping paint on their porch and painting it again. I think they had their porch scraped and painted twice a year. Once by me and my sisters, and once by our cousins, just so they could teach us principles of hard work and earning a living. They also paid us for mowing the lawn, which I think may have been mowed every day of the summer for all I know! They taught me to operate a riding lawn mower by the time I was 12, and I really enjoyed that. I also raked a lot of twigs and leaves around the yard.

Aunt Nancy is also special because she always stocked her refrigerator with cheese and sodas, and her cabinets with twinkies so we would always have a treat to eat when we visited. She is a very generous lady and always thinks the best about everyone (well, almost everyone!). She gives, and gives, and gives and doesn't ask for much in return.

Aunt Nancy is a great crocheter (if that is a word). She gave me an afghan when I was younger that I will always treasure. I hope that when Aunt Nancy leaves this earth, I can be as special to someone else as she is to me.

"Thanks for Listening"

I didn't start thinking about my thanksgiving list much until after Thanksgiving Day this year. In my head I kept thinking, "I need to sit down and write a list of everything this year that I am thankful for." My thoughts didn't make it past my head and onto paper, or in this case, the computer. So, I am writing it now. I have already mentioned in previous blogs that this is one of my toughest years ever as a school counselor. There is much happening in the lives of people, families, kids, and the world.
I actually came back to school on Monday a little melancholy, thinking as I was supervising in the loud, boisterous cafeteria, that maybe I wasn't cut out to be a middle school counselor. Maybe I should think about doing something else in the near future. It just seemed like middle school kids get annoying with their pestering habits, and was I really making ANY difference with ANY of them?
Well, funny thing. About as soon as I got back to my office from lunch, a student came in and asked to speak with me. It was a boy, and boys rarely take any initiative in even getting close to the guidance counselor's office unless sent for. We talked, and I found out some interesting things about this student, and discovered he was carrying a heavy load of worry in his mind about his family. The next day, he came back again, and I was pretty shocked that he would want to come back and talk to me 2 days in a row! He wasn't a behavior problem at all, he wasn't falling apart, he just needed to talk. As he left, I said, "Thanks for coming and sharing with me. I'm sure that took a lot of courage. Sometimes it's good to get things off your chest." And he said, "Thanks for listening." Wow, thank you Lord for giving me a middle schooler to talk to right when I thought I wasn't needed! So, my Thanksgiving list? 1. Middle School students who need someone to listen to them.

Community

Co-mu-ni-ty: a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage.

If you have ever moved from one city or state to another, you know that every place has a different feel, or culture to it. Each state has it's own place in history, and in a sense, has it's own identity. If you work in a school in a community, you really get the sense of what is going on in the local community by getting to know kids and family.

Working in a school we are often told by fellow educators to "not take the students problems home with us," but in reality, there is not really a way to separate them from our minds when we invest so much time and energy into them during the school day. I think most teachers will tell you there are many times they go home and think about their students and all that they are dealing with.

Today is one of those days for me. I have some students in real crisis right now. Mary, whose name I can use because she is on many prayer chains, is struggling to survive at Peyton Manning's Children's Hospital after a sudden illness. I am very worried about Mary. She is part of my school community and I care about her family and what happens to her. I am not sure I would want to live in isolation from my community. We are all called on to help and support each other.

This year has proven to be my toughest emotional year yet with all the things this group of students is struggling with. I know I am here for a reason, and I have to believe it's to help these kids and families. It keeps me going every day, even though at times, it is hard.

Whatever you are struggling with right now, please remember, you are stronger than you think you are, and there is someone in your community who needs YOU.