In Like a Lamb, Out Like a Lion

And no, I am not talking about the month of March, I am talking about 6th graders entering and exiting their first year of middle school! I was 8th grade counselor last year and that bunch was sorta tough, so when I became 6th grade counselor this year I was like, "woo hoo, this should be a breeze." Well, it was for about 5 months, then after Christmas break it was like the hormone switch went off and kids started acting crazy and making poor choices. (I want to put in a little reminder here, though, to add perspective: I spend about 90% of my time with 10% of the kids, if you know what I mean, so when I say "they" started acting crazy, I'm really only talking about my 10%).

So, my little 10% start doing things like hitting other kids, getting ISS for poor behavior choice, continuing to disrupt class and say, "I didn't do it!", not following behavior plans the teachers set in place, those kind of things that keep my job secure. I called one student in to discuss a behavior plan that had been in place since November and he looked at me and said, "Behavior plan, what behavior plan. I didn't know I had a behavior plan." RIIIIGGGGHHHHT.

Another student wants to go live with the opposite parent, so I get word that this student asked another student to punch him/her to get a bruise so it would lead to a CPS report. Wow, was that on a CSI episode?

Many things lead to misbehavior in middle school and I know that kids are confused sometimes, don't know what they want, and generally feel lost, but sometimes when teachers and counselors spend extra time with kids to talk to them about things, I wonder why in the world don't they get it after I see them again for the same behavior?

Reminder to self: love them no matter what!

I Want to Be a Professional Athlete!

Doesn't everybody? I taught my annual career lesson today, this time to my 6th graders. As I progressed through the day I was reminded of the dream of so many students: to be a professional athlete. The career website we were using had a link to Professional Athlete and several students asked me right away after they did their survey if that was on there as a job selection. (Mind you, the results of the survey NEVER suggest Professional Athlete as a possible career opportunity).

I think it's great that kids can dream big. We counselors try never to say, "OH NO, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT." We ask them to have a back up plan and remind them that less than 1% of the population holds that as their career.

A couple of years ago I had a student at the high school I thought might actually have the chance to make it in the pro, so I insisted that he give me a signed picture before he graduated and told him I would never try to sell it on Ebay. Surprisingly, another student who graduated the same year and plays for Butler University in Indianapolis actually may have that chance. We got his autograph at the state championship celebration last year. If you follow college basketball you may recognize his name as Gordon Hayward.

Oh to be a professional athlete and enjoy fame and glory for a short time. We must remember though, that the most important jobs are usually the one no one spotlights on the evening news~and we must keep plugging away. Thanks to Brian Williams from NBC nightly news, they now have an evening clip at the end of their broadcast called "Making a Difference." It is the 3 minute highlight of my weekday evenings!

What Constitutes a Good School Experience?

Everyone has a different view of their child's whole school experience from Kindergarten to whatever grade he/she is currently in. I think a major key in whether you and your child have a good experience is how well you and the school staff relate to each other over expressed concerns. As a school counselor, I find that when I take the time to listen to a parent and offer solutions, we end the conversation on a good note because they feel they are being heard and that I will follow up with them.
Parents and students who struggle sometimes have had someone in the school be rude to them, or they perceive that a staff member has been rude. Sometimes a staff member has not been rude at all but because of preconceived notions or other parents' input, they enter the conversation already assuming it's not going to go well. I tell parents to ask questions until they get the answers and help they need. Most school staff are very caring and kind, and if they are not, it needs to be addressed by an administrator.
As a parent myself, I have had a good school experience and so have my children. Perhaps it is because my children are "easy" children to have in class. Perhaps it is because I don't nag the teachers or my own kids about homework, projects or tests. Everyone has a different view of school based on their children and their own personalities, backgrounds and experiences. The best advice I can give is to go to the school expecting a positive experience and most of the time you won't be disappointed.

Frenzied Fridays . . . or Frantic Fridays?

I think one of my favorite and least favorite days of the week is Fridays. Fridays at school are pre-empted with thoughts of wondering what the day is going to bring- will it bring bad or good? The bad possibilities first: crying kids who come in with a sad, sad story, a referral from a teacher of a student with a bruise that necessitates a call to CPS, a parent upset with a teachers' decisions for the week, students who made a poor behavior choice and must be sent home for a few days . . . OR will it bring:

the positive possibilities: checking a student's grades to find out they've raised their F's to C's, having a study skills group or other kid centered group that helps me get to know my students better, having a student come down just to say "hi," because they haven't seen me in a few days, celebrating a staff member's birthday, or looking forward to a school break coming up.

There is only one thing predictable for Fridays: they're really unpredictable. Oh, and they also go by fast!