tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29177837985367253952024-03-14T04:24:31.259-04:00I Love Being a School CounselorSharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-3769225507492320552021-02-15T09:18:00.000-05:002021-02-15T09:18:02.276-05:00Observations in School Counseling During Covid 2020<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn-wAsLr4RYTLB9nGPQFQu2h_hxqX9niH-m7cX8q4IFnd5zlozwTj5SjlvjT7pbgNGa5YwLBN-PXtVIV_rdOEyMFEWaO4S2F13ACPhTFz-XL3A59APqIDM0qVJtkwnZ-lZqkYMHPOQ2Fo/s1080/People+Need+People.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn-wAsLr4RYTLB9nGPQFQu2h_hxqX9niH-m7cX8q4IFnd5zlozwTj5SjlvjT7pbgNGa5YwLBN-PXtVIV_rdOEyMFEWaO4S2F13ACPhTFz-XL3A59APqIDM0qVJtkwnZ-lZqkYMHPOQ2Fo/s320/People+Need+People.jpg" /></a></div><br />I have been gathering my thoughts about COVID and the school year we have had so far. I live in Indiana, just west of Indianapolis. Our Governor gave schools permission to be open, and our district has done an outstanding job. One of the most helpful things we did was give parents the opportunity to send students to school or to work at home. Our district designated a teacher at every grade level to be an at home instructor, so the classroom teachers could focus solely on the students who were present with them. Parents had the opportunity second semester to make that choice again- if they were at home, they could go to school, and if they were at school, they could switch to being at home. This helped many students who had sick family members.<p></p><p>I am the counselor at the alternative high school. Beginning in August we saw a shift in the students our two districts were sending us. Since we were all at home learners during March-May of 2020, many of those students got behind and didn't complete any work. Those students came to us and are getting caught up. They love the small environment and staff. We have 2 teachers for each core subject (Math, English, Science, and Social Studies), so we are really a miniature version of the main high schools. Our teacher to student ration is 1:16 or less. </p><p>What we have noticed is that more and more students are becoming withdrawn and anxious during COVID. Students have admitted to me that once they were home for 6 months or more (starting in March), they got comfortable at home and were afraid to leave the house. Once these students gave us a chance and they began coming, they wanted to stay with us second semester. The main reason is that we are a small school and we have a caring staff. They also feel like they can be themselves at the alternative school. Everyone has a different story of why they come to us.</p><p>We need to remember that "People need people"- any amount of time we invest in someone else is worth the extra mile, the extra question, the extra compliment, the extra phone call, the extra e-mail. We find that our parents need support just as much as their students do. It's very simplistic, but it works. Students are wanting someone to look up to and listen to them even if they are quiet themselves. I have never had a student get mad at me for asking how their day is going or how I can help them. I have had students come back and say thank you. We must overcome our fears to help our students overcome theirs. This will reduce everyone's levels of anxiety. Isolation only breeds more depression and anxiety. Let's get back to the basics!</p><p><br /></p>Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-22497201647872916402020-07-06T18:50:00.001-04:002020-07-06T18:50:29.657-04:00CBS Interviews Social Workers: Child Abuse Underreported During COVID<div style="text-align: center;">
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I am very sensitive to the fact that every person has a different view of COVID and are at different stages with their feelings and thoughts. I am not here to argue any of those concerns. What I want to highlight is the number of underreported cases of child abuse going on. On May 5, CBS aired a 4 minute clip of interviews with social workers who explain what is going on in their world during COVID.<br />
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The incidences of child abuse are way higher than deaths from COVID right now, so with precautions, I am hoping and praying that schools open on time and that children can come back to their safe places. Yes, it's good in many cases for parents to choose whether to have their children take online courses or go to school in person, but keep in mind, some parents of abused children will choose to keep their children home to protect the abuser, whether it's themselves, or someone else in the household. As the risk for COVID decreases, the risk for child abuse continues to increase the longer children remain at home all day due to stress on the family, or history of previous abuse.<br />
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The purpose of this post is to increase awareness, so we can all sound the alarm and report suspected child abuse. If you suspect child abuse, please call the child abuse hotline at 1-800- 800-5556.<br />
Please take four minutes to watch this CBS clip: <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/video/child-abuse-may-be-underreported-during-coronavirus-lockdowns-welfare-workers-say/#x" target="_blank">Child Abuse Underreported During COVID</a><br />
Indiana Department of Child Services website: <a href="https://www.in.gov/dcs/2971.htm" target="_blank">Indiana DCS Website</a> Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-12591274698032348912020-03-26T11:48:00.001-04:002020-03-26T11:48:50.505-04:00Stages of Grief during COVID-19<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghnqb4mcQP_AVMVSMqogMc4ZqzBuwv5kgyv2aXkn36PtCZID4Cbs3Zw3a_KM2DMFVUpYVmZF0Gqvnf8f3FDHAuiAfMn12b0yvNlgsxVkIXNo8wnpF0r8ZDKK4RGUbPnbbgre8HJDdd6-E/s1600/Stages+of+Grief.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="810" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghnqb4mcQP_AVMVSMqogMc4ZqzBuwv5kgyv2aXkn36PtCZID4Cbs3Zw3a_KM2DMFVUpYVmZF0Gqvnf8f3FDHAuiAfMn12b0yvNlgsxVkIXNo8wnpF0r8ZDKK4RGUbPnbbgre8HJDdd6-E/s320/Stages+of+Grief.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Something that has been on my mind a lot this past couple of weeks during the Coronavirus outbreak is the stages of grief. They aren't only something people go through when they lose a loved one, they can also be something people go through when there is a sudden loss of control, change in schedule without warning, severe illness, or job loss. I thought it might be helpful to review them for anyone wanting to know what they are. The best way to help someone going through these is to be supportive, even when we are struggling a bit ourselves. I think of my students who have never even heard of stages of grief. This may be helpful for them to know, so they can see they are not alone, realize this maybe normal, or so they can understand what their parent/s are going through if they've experienced a sudden job loss due to the virus interruption.<br />
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<b>Stages of Grief based on the Kubler-Ross model of grief</b><br />
<b>(Individuals may not experience all stages, and they may return to previous stages at times)</b><br />
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1. <u>Denial</u>: "This can't be happening." This displays itself when a person does not accept a loss or the situation.<br />
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2. <u>Anger</u>: "Why is this happening to me?" When the loss is realized, a person may be come angry at themselves or others. It's normal to say, "It's not fair" or to place blame, "This is all ______'s fault."<br />
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3. <u>Bargaining</u>: "I will do anything to change this." A person may try to change or delay the loss. (In the case of COVID-19 we all want to change the situation as fast as possible)<br />
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4.<u> Depression</u>: "What's the point of going on?" A person may self-isolate and spend time crying and grieving. It is often a precursor to acceptance because the realization that a loss has occurred has set in.<br />
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5. <u>Acceptance</u>: "It's going to be OK." Finally a person accepts their loss. He or she understands the situation logically, and come to terms emotionally with the situation.<br />
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Source: Therapist Aid LLC TherapistAid.com<br />
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Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-29428252166968697322020-01-27T20:19:00.000-05:002020-01-27T20:19:31.582-05:00What is Compassion Fatigue and Empathy?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUrTzlH_wPXVX1fTF7GUpx1M0f0z3nwS2InN6T9njKD06dmhZ5ao3eDhYkEcJvAjn8cfUP3xCAOpwHvC8Atlt7NKYhWkXbUQsR2N6n6sjqFQcq2w_nN_IUOum-hhbF_Z8s7ueHjaHeZnQ/s1600/CompassionFatigue.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="350" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUrTzlH_wPXVX1fTF7GUpx1M0f0z3nwS2InN6T9njKD06dmhZ5ao3eDhYkEcJvAjn8cfUP3xCAOpwHvC8Atlt7NKYhWkXbUQsR2N6n6sjqFQcq2w_nN_IUOum-hhbF_Z8s7ueHjaHeZnQ/s320/CompassionFatigue.png" width="320" /></a></div>
When I first heard the phrase, "compassion fatigue", I thought, "yes, I think I have that!" However, when I looked up the definition, I thought to myself, I only have it partially. Here is the definition: <span>Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress, is a
condition characterized by a gradual lessening of compassion over time." It's caused by listening to others' stories of trauma and experiencing stress taken on from the student (or client if you are a therapist). I don't agree that my compassion lessons over time. I just take on the students' feelings and emotions as I listen to a lot of stories in a short amount of time. </span><br />
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<span>I kept looking for the right phrasing of what I was experiencing. I was speaking with a student on the topic and she said that people who experience others' feelings deeply are called "Empaths," so I looked up that definition and this is what it said, "</span><span class="st"><em>Empaths</em> are highly sensitive individuals, who
have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and
feeling. Psychologists may use the term <em>empath</em> to describe a
person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of
taking on the pain of others at their own expense."</span><br />
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<span class="st">OK, so I have part of that definition too. I am sensitive and keen to what students are thinking and feeling and have great empathy, but I don't take on others' pain. My issue is that I hear so many stories in a short period of time that I am totally exhausted when I get home from work. </span><br />
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<span class="st">While searching online about this condition, I found this well written article (short read) that expresses my thoughts also! Take a read. The most important take away is to take care of yourself (myself!) and be aware when you (I) need a break or a mental health day!</span><br />
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<span class="st"><a href="http://www.counselingpsychology.org/counseling-advice-empathy-compassion-fatigue" target="_blank">Empathy and Compassion Fatigue</a> </span><span><span></span></span>Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-55653749274555053972019-11-03T20:14:00.000-05:002019-11-03T20:14:18.458-05:00Mental Health: Same Issues, New Words Over Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijxNIw6r4hHMFfLW0OmAfv5I1GAhMu8L-nQQtE52LR4BWoEu0tbvtvXC9SdfvIlDZJwJSwibftVWX5Kg2g4IR9jEVw3bydLk4ArNV4eNPHL-BE64VtG2dy8mLzQtT6OT_drvmaQ34Kr0g/s1600/Psych+books.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijxNIw6r4hHMFfLW0OmAfv5I1GAhMu8L-nQQtE52LR4BWoEu0tbvtvXC9SdfvIlDZJwJSwibftVWX5Kg2g4IR9jEVw3bydLk4ArNV4eNPHL-BE64VtG2dy8mLzQtT6OT_drvmaQ34Kr0g/s320/Psych+books.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Recently I was walking around Barnes and Noble Bookstore and looking at the categories and titles of books. There were seven major sections of books that I could see: Health and Wellness, Cooking, Fitness, History, Finance, Psychology, and Religion. I am amazed at how many books have been written to help us with our mental health. Of all those categories, five of them relate directly to mental health and how to improve our lives in some way. I was imagining all the books written through the ages that weren't even on the bookshelves, but can be accessed electronically or in libraries.<br />
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Over the years, the field of Psychology comes up with new terms for the same issues. Here are some of them.<br />
1980's Self-Esteem<br />
1990's Positivity & Meditation<br />
2000's Self-Help<br />
2010's Self-Care and Mindfulness<br />
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Mental Health is an ageless issue in every culture. While we know that genetics, environment, spiritual mindset and personality all play a part in people's mental health (we are all on a spectrum!), no one has a magic answer to recovery, but collectively, we can narrow down remedies to some common things. Things that we know help improve mental health in various combinations:<br />
A good diet, outdoor time in the sun, exercise, spirituality, medication (for some), counseling, de-stressing (taking yourself out of situations that cause stress- when possible), setting long term goals, and getting the required recommended amount of sleep.<br />
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Working with teenagers who have mental health issues, I am amazed at how many of them are already living poor lifestyles at their young ages. Most of them definitely are not getting enough sleep, they eat a terrible diet of french fries and hamburgers or chicken fingers several times a week, and rarely do they exercise once they have completed PE requirements. I personally think PE should be required every semester until graduation. This is a major mental health booster!<br />
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It is definitely frustrating that students don't take care of themselves, and no matter how much advice I give them, I don't see major improvements in the short term. I spend a lot of time helping kids get across the finish line of K-12 education, and then I have to shoo them out the door and start over with the next generation.<br />
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I would say that over the years, I have found that pursuing relationships with kids and letting them know we care as counselors is the best we can do, while equipping them with tools and exposing them to opportunities that are out there after graduation. I believe that every connection helps them connect brain cells, and I want them to look back on high school and remember that someone cared, even if they don't remember my name!<br />
<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-26628579273472991002019-09-05T14:13:00.002-04:002019-09-05T14:13:37.620-04:00A Letter to My Dad From a Student in Foster CareI was speaking recently to one of my students who is in a foster care placement. She had a visit with her mom and dad about a month ago. Both of her parents are addicted to meth and have been in and out of jail. They are currently out of jail and she claims they continue to do meth. The visit she had did not go well. They are allowed to be in public places together, but unsupervised. The student believed that her dad was high during the visit. On a different day, he came into her place of employment and got high in the restroom so he was asked not to return to that place. She shared with me a text she sent him and I thought it was very well written and showed her feelings appropriately. (Please note, the incident was reported her her Family Case Manager from the Department of Child Services)<br />
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I wanted to post this because it shows the raw feelings of a student who has dealt with a (short) lifetime of pain, and of parents who cared more about their additions than their children. Getting help for additions takes courage, and if someone really wants to get help, they will admit themselves to a facility- maybe insurance doesn't cover everything, but if they are court ordered and in the system, it will get paid for one way or another! Many teenagers go off the deep end with parents like hers, but she has goals and there are kids out there who break the cycle of their parents.<br />
<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-76793660990977382172019-04-05T22:26:00.002-04:002019-04-05T22:26:39.909-04:00Child Maltreatment Report Indicates Kentucky and Indiana as WORST States for Child Abuse<br />
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Why? Why is there child abuse in the first place? Why do I live in a state that has the second highest child abuse rate in the country? We don't even have one of the largest cities in the United States! These are questions with complicated answers. There is so much evil in some people's hearts- evil that they sometimes have little control over due to deep addictions to drugs or a mental illness they can't seem to overcome, even for the sake of children.<br />
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April is child abuse awareness month and I always make a post to bring the topic to light. The blue ribbon is both a symbol of Child Abuse Awareness and Autism Awareness. More often than not, long term effects of child abuse results in mental disorders of children or deviant behavior, and the cycle is rarely broken.<br />
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The 2017 report was released in February of 2019. According to the report, Indiana has 18.2 per 1000 child abuse reports, behind only Kentucky at 22.3 per 1000. The national average is 10.<br />
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Here are a few findings from the report.The full report can be accessed here:<br />
<a href="https://www.nccasp.org/single-post/2019/02/15/Child-Maltreatment-2017-Released" target="_blank">Child Maltreatment Report 2017 (Released Feb 2019)</a><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.666666666666666px; left: 219.37599999999998px; top: 560.5037434895833px;">■</span> <span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 481.538px; transform: scaleX(1.00295);">The national rounded number of children who received a child protective services </span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 507.001px; transform: scaleX(0.998545);">investigation response or alternative response increased 10.0 percent from 2013</span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 530.34px; transform: scaleX(0.957504);">(3,184,000) to 2017 (3,501,000).</span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.666666666666666px; left: 219.37599999999998px; top: 560.5037434895833px;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.666666666666666px; left: 219.37599999999998px; top: 560.5037434895833px;">■</span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 553.663px; transform: scaleX(1.00573);">The number and rate of victims have fluctuated during the past 5 years. Comparing </span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 577.001px; transform: scaleX(0.99767);">the national rounded number of victims from 2013 (656,000) to the national rounded</span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 600.34px; transform: scaleX(0.989526);"> number of victims in 2017 (674,000) shows an increase of 2.7 percent.</span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.666666666666666px; left: 219.37599999999998px; top: 630.5037434895833px;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.666666666666666px; left: 219.37599999999998px; top: 630.5037434895833px;">■</span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 623.663px; transform: scaleX(0.997922);">The 2017 data show three-quarters (74.9%) of victims are neglected, 18.3 percent are </span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 644.877px; transform: scaleX(1.00426);">physically abused, and 8.6 percent are sexually abused. These victims may suffer a </span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 668.215px; transform: scaleX(1.00586);">single maltreatment type or a combination of two or more maltreatment types.</span><span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.666666666666666px; left: 219.37599999999998px; top: 700.5037434895831px;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 11.666666666666666px; left: 219.37599999999998px; top: 700.5037434895831px;">■</span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 693.663px; transform: scaleX(0.990265);">For 2017, an estimated 1,720 children died of abuse and neglect at a rate of 2.32 per </span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 18.3333px; left: 239.373px; top: 714.877px; transform: scaleX(1.00243);">100,000 children in the national population.</span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 12.833333333333332px; left: 560.4543333333334px; top: 714.9101666666664px;">1</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 12.833333333333332px; left: 560.4543333333334px; top: 714.9101666666664px;"><span style="font-size: small;">So what is the answer to this dilemma and increasingly saddening state of our Union? This issue can only be combated one child at a time, one family at a time, along with increasing mental health services and drug addiction rehabilitation. If you suspect something, say something. We are all mandated reporters and are protected under the law as long as we are making the report in good faith and not purposely trying to falsely accuse someone. Here is the Child Abuse Hotline number: 1-800-422-4453. Childhelp is another organization dedicated to informing and assisting those who need to understand abuse or report abuse. Click on this link to the website address: <a href="https://www.childhelp.org/" target="_blank">www.childhelp.org</a></span> </span><br />
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Remember: If you suspect abuse you must call the hotline to report it. If you feel more comfortable calling a school counselor or a police officer, either can help make this call.<br />
<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-28497928327113691412019-02-22T21:03:00.000-05:002019-02-22T21:03:46.258-05:00When Kids Go Missing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In my 23 years of being a school counselor, I can think of only four times that one of my students has run away or gone missing. In each case, these students show up within 24-48 hours. They usually just hide out a friend's house- for whatever reason. Usually there are complicated family issues at bay. Kids don't realize that no matter what conflict they are having with their parent/s, their parent/s still love them. Dysfunction is a real thing for a lot of families. What kids also don't realize is that the things that have been happening to them, which in turn causes poor behavior and decisions, have over time made them confused individuals. Running from your problems is not a new concept. Kids running away has been an issue long before social media. Social media helps us find kids quicker and easier because sometimes they make posts or keep in touch with another person when they are missing.<br />
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Kids running away is also not a crime, if they are not committing crimes when they run away. It's often just a form of escape from their world. It's a very terrifying experience for a parent, whether or not the relationship is in crisis. We can only hope that when a child returns from his or her disappearance that he or she gets the emotional help and support needed, instead of criticism and punishment. Hopefully this student will be found and returned to his family soon.Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-91034326799900045722019-01-07T20:16:00.005-05:002019-01-07T20:16:39.950-05:00Book Review: Bridging the Softskills Gap by Bruce Tulgan<br />
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It's no secret that today's job market is being flooded with Generation Y, known as the second wave of Millenials, born between 1990-1999. These recent graduates have a lot in common: they are technically saavy, grew up with helicopter parents, and google all of their "how-tos". They often relate well to adults but are missing key soft skills in three important areas: Professionalism, Critical Thinking, and Followership. This book describes these three qualities in detail, giving employers specific ideas as to how to teach these skills. Yes, it is often frustrating for employers, but these kids are well trained and up to date on the technical skills needed to run a company.<br />
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Managers complained that these young people lacked in the following areas: personal responsibility, work habits, checking devices on a regular basis, not being able to problem solve or defer to authority, and finally, greatly lack in teamwork.<br />
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In brief the categories addressed in this book of each area that employers can focus on and provide training to employees are as follows:<br />
Professionalism- self-evaluation, personal responsibility, work habits, positive attitude and people skills<br />
Critical Thinking- proactive learning, problem solving and decision making<br />
Followership- respect for context, good citizenship, service and teamwork<br />
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In short, I recommend this book to high school teachers, college professors, and employers. Teachers and professors can use it in their classrooms and employers can use it in their training. It is easy to read, practical and very clear and concise. There is a compatible workbook that can be purchased also. It is called Soft Skills Training: A Workbook to Develop Skills for Employment by Frederick Wentz. <br />
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<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-20679019079986787872018-11-03T21:10:00.001-04:002018-11-03T21:10:31.795-04:00Ivy Tech Community College & The Workforce Development Grants<br />
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As many in the world of secondary and higher education are discovering, in this age of a booming economy, the skilled trades are hurting for good workers. The state of Indiana has come up with an excellent solution to aid industries with a partnership they call Next Level Jobs. Please take a look at these websites: <a href="https://www.in.gov/dwd/" target="_blank">Department of Workforce Development</a> and <a href="https://www.nextleveljobs.org/" target="_blank">Next Level Jobs </a><br />
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Instead of paying to go to college, industries will pay young adults to do on the job training and get necessary certifications in five high demand fields: Advanced Manufacturing, Building and Construction, Health and Life Sciences, Business and IT Services, and Transportation and Logistics. Students who apply and get accepted to one of the partners in these areas can get their training paid for through the Workforce Development Grant and credits through Ivy Tech Community College.<br />
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Many high schools have dual credit programs through their Career and Technical Education Centers and students are already earning certifications. Students who study in these fields in high school are often ready to start a job upon graduation if they complete the one or two year programs. Students can continue their education after graduation through these partnerships. Students who may not have had the opportunity to enroll in a CTE program in high school now have this opportunity after graduation.<br />
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Upon completion of the program, a person can earn between $12-45 hourly, with no college loans! Students who want a hands on occupation or career should look into this opportunity. To get started, please take a look at the websites listed above.<br />
<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-87460678874908920242018-09-04T22:09:00.000-04:002018-09-04T22:09:36.333-04:00Graduation Pathways in Indiana: A Simple Explanation<br />
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Graduation Pathways is the new term for End of Course Assessments and ISTEP in Indiana. Students who do not pass the ISTEP exams in high school can now qualify for graduation if they meet criteria in three different categories. The first category is to take all courses to qualify for a high school diploma, whether that is a Core40, Technical Honors, or Academic Honors diploma.<br />
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The second category is to complete 100 hours of community service, extra curricular activity, work hours or service learning. Many of the students at my school have part time jobs, so we are already talking to students about meeting this requirement by turning in a W-2 or year to date pay stub.<br />
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The third category is a little more daunting. Students must show proficiency on one of several exams or take a Career and Technical Education class (CTE) through their local Vocational Tech program and receive a grade of C or higher for 6 credits, which is one full year of the program.<br />
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The exams students can choose from include ACT, SAT, and the ASVAB (the military aptitude test). Students must achieve the college readiness or military readiness score on one of these.<br />
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For more information, please visit the Indiana Department of Education website and follow this link:<br />
<a href="https://www.doe.in.gov/student-services/student-assistance/indiana-graduation-requirements" target="_blank">Indiana Graduation Pathways</a>Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-31406956071868238252018-07-28T21:17:00.000-04:002018-07-28T21:17:04.586-04:00Free Army Educator Tour to Fort Sam HoustonAs an educator, I don't get to do very many things for free, especially professional development. So when I received an e-mail from my local army recruiter saying the Army was going to sponsor an educator tour over the summer and it wouldn't cost me anything, I submitted an application. I sent several e-mails asking if I had been chosen, and when I was, I was really excited.<br />
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I knew the Army recruited kids out of high school and they had to go to boot camp, but beyond that, I didn't know much about the Army except that if a recruit served, they could also get a free education.<br />
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The place we got to go was Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio Texas. We spent two full days on the base with travel days on each end, for a total of four days. During day 1 we toured the education campus and saw what medical jobs recruits are trained for. This base is phase 2 of Army training. Phase 1 is boot camp. Recruits come to Fort Sam Houston to be trained in a variety of medical fields. Respiratory, Optometry, Dentistry, Surgery, you name it, they are trained to fully operate a field hospital anywhere in the world.<br />
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On day 2 we went to an FOB (Forward Operating Base), which is basically a field experience set up for a real situation. In this case, we were going to "Afghanistan." On this site we observed recruits rehearsing real life situations on realistic mannequins. For example, they had to repeatedly do things to "save"a person until they reached a certain minimal time. They learn to apply tourniquets, put in trachs, and stabilize a person.<br />
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I have always respected military personnel, but after this trip, my respect level went up a notch when I realized how much they have to learn and the courage they need to face dangerous situations. If you are an educator and have the opportunity to take this tour, I highly recommend it. The Army seeks to put young people in a career they will enjoy for a lifetime, as well as prepare them to defend and protect all of us.<br />
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<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-23792762451109039012018-03-29T21:21:00.000-04:002018-03-29T21:21:00.959-04:00Mental Health in Schools<br />
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One of my Facebook contacts recently posted a journal entry from a student who knew the shooter in Florida. It was posted in the New York Times this past week. Here is the link. Please take the time to read it: <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/27/opinion/nikolas-cruz-shooting-florida.html?partner=msft_msn" target="_blank">I Tried to Befriend Nikolas Cruz</a><br />
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This female student had an interaction in 7th grade in which he threw an apple at her back and he seemed to enjoy that she was hurt. Then in 8th grade, she had to tutor him as part of the peer tutoring program she had signed up for. At that time she also had a negative interaction with him.<br />
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Here is a quote from her article:<br />
"It is not the obligation of children to befriend classmates who have
demonstrated aggressive, unpredictable or violent tendencies. It is the
responsibility of the school administration and guidance department to
seek out those students and get them the help that they need, even if it
is extremely specialized attention that cannot be provided at the same
institution."<br />
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I have been a school counselor for 20+ years and I agree with this student. In addition to the school staff assisting aggressive and mentally ill students, it is also the responsibility of the family unit to do something about this. In all of my experiences with these types of students and their guardians, the guardians have been willing to follow my suggestions, whether that be getting a private therapist or having their child evaluated by an inpatient stress center.<br />
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Also in my experience, students come out of inpatient mental treatment centers and either continue their behavioral and mental health cycles, or they truly have reflected on what has happened to them and strive to make positive changes. Human emotions and actions are very complex. A child's formative years usually happen before age 10. In fact, research would tell you that personality is developed by age 6. Click here to see one article: <a href="https://www.livescience.com/8432-personality-set-life-1st-grade-study-suggests.html" target="_blank">Personality Set For Life by 1st Grade</a>.<br />
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While personality is a big part of someone's biology, their life experiences play a huge role in how that personality develops over time. I personally believe that only God can change a heart, and most of our efforts are futile at best. A child must develop an internal moral compass and a desire to look outward past their own pain and troubles to truly change. He or she must also develop strong, positive relationships along the way. Those they can confide in and get advice from. Most children are very open to adult influence. Those who have suffered much abuse and actually have had their brains altered due to emotional or physical trauma are the ones that are most resistant to change- whether they are able to on their own, or not able to based on severity of brain damage.<br />
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Every individual is different and there are a myriad of ways to help someone- therapies, medications, hospitalizations, etc. For some, those treatments may work, but for others, it does not, and those are the ones who end up in the penal system with severe mental illness and inability to cope or change. While it is very sad, consequences must be handed out for the crimes. Whatever solutions we come up with, we must not give up on the child. We must be vigilant and communicate with family to come up with the best possible treatment for mental health issues. All students deserve to be protected.Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-29417864860390439692018-01-20T14:46:00.001-05:002018-01-20T14:46:32.922-05:00Sensitive SoulsI wrote the following five years ago, but never posted it. As I re-read it, I thought, "I need to go ahead and put this out there. Someone needs to read it." I have since given up running, but that word can be replaced with biking, walking, exercising . . . etc.<br />
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I love to run. I can't run far, but I love to run. There's something about just getting out into the fresh air and taking a quick run around the neighborhood, listening to my favorite music. I do a lot of thinking on my runs. I usually am out for 20-30 minutes at the most, but it's enough time to get by myself with my thoughts and try to talk to God.<br />
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Sometimes I wonder why I am running, or what I might be running FROM. On my latest run I was thinking about sensitive souls- people who are conscientious of what others think of them and always take criticism, bad or good, to heart. I lose sleep over things that most people would just say, "If they think that about me, that's their problem." Other people's comments toward me about my personality or character become my problems. I was trying to think of a way to explain it to the world, and a word description came to mind. <i><b>To a sensitive soul, a gentle reprimand sounds like a screaming accusation.</b></i><br />
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I often get accused of being "too sensitive," and jokes toward me shouldn't be taken so seriously. I should just laugh along with everyone who makes fun of me, because they are just kidding. Most of the time, I just laugh, and other times, I just walk away so they can't see my expressions. No one knows how deep the teasing goes, because I just laugh right along with them and pretend to laugh at myself. They don't really mean anything by their joking, and I know that. To be honest, I don't really know why I am so easy to tease! I guess I just say silly stuff.<br />
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Why am I telling you all this? And what does it have to do with school counseling? People who have been hurt deeply are often sensitive people. They learn to be tough on the outside and tough on the inside. Being tough on the outside is the easy part. No matter how tough I try to be on the inside, there are still things people say that really hurt me, and they have no idea why, so I just keep it to myself. I often worry that I am going to hurt someone's feelings or make someone mad. If I do make a mistake and say something I think I shouldn't, I always talk to the person to apologize. I'm often met with a comment like, "What are you talking about? I didn't think that was mean at all."<br />
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And then I go home and run. I can't wait for the day when I can run through heaven, and never get tired, and not have to stop because my knees are hurting. And I can run and not have a heavy heart, and all the music I listen to is praise to God for bringing me safely home, passing through a hurting world.<br />
When I meet a sensitive soul at school, I always encourage them to run. "Why?" they ask.<br />
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"Because it will make you feel better. Trust me."Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-18318833531248377592017-11-03T19:12:00.000-04:002017-11-03T19:12:14.714-04:00Vincennes Aviation and Maintenance Training Center<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This week we went on our "Don't Fear the Future" field trips. One of the places we went to was the Vincennes University Aviation Training Center in Indianapolis. This was a neat place for those interested in this career. Students can attend here and learn every aspect of airplane maintenance and be ready for employment upon graduation. The school has many different training labs where students spend weeks at a time. They learn how take apart and put together turbine engines, how to rivet, mold and shape fiberglass, wiring for all the small parts in a plane (sprinkler systems, etc), among other things.<br />
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Students who graduate can begin a career with any airline making $23/hr and can quickly move up to earning much more than that. This is a good option for those who are mechanically inclined, as graduates are sought after in many other industries where maintenance skills are needed. Vincennes University is very affordable, as tuition is comparable to Ivy Tech Community College. Students must be detail oriented, have good problem solving skills, and have the tenacity to study and learn all the aspects of airplane maintenance. I was really impressed with this facility and anyone who is mechanically inclined should consider getting training here.<br />
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For more information click on this link: <a href="https://my.vinu.edu/web/atc" target="_blank">Vincennes University Aviation Training Center</a><br />
Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-28409980847734972682017-09-22T16:49:00.001-04:002017-09-22T16:49:13.096-04:00Smart Phone Effects on Today's Teens<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My commentary is not going to be much, because this long article is well worth the read. This researcher and writer addresses the serious issues cell phones impose on our current generation of teenagers. Please read it here: <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/has-the-smartphone-destroyed-a-generation/534198/" target="_blank">Have Smart Phones Destroyed a Generation?</a><br />
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In summary, this article addresses the following phenomena of the cell phone generation:<br />
1. Teens are getting less sleep<br />
2. Teens are showing higher rates of depression<br />
3. Teens are less likely to start driving at age 16<br />
4. Teens are less likely to date, go out with friends, or have sex<br />
5. Teens are spending less time with parents even though they are at home<br />
6. Teens are feeling lonelier and more left out (due to social media cyberbullying and kids who are getting together posting pictures)<br />
7. Teens spend an average of 2.5 hours a day on devices (I think it is definitely higher in some cases)<br />
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If you are wondering if your teen is addicted to cell phone use, here is another helpful article:<br />
<a href="https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2016/12/27/new-ways-to-detect-and-stop-smartphone-addiction-among-teens/" target="_blank">New Ways to Detect Cell Phone Addiction</a><br />
<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-53918157706659645472017-08-08T19:32:00.001-04:002017-08-08T19:32:28.840-04:00Teenagers in Foster Care Should NOT Be Adopted<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In a world where kids in foster care are wanting to belong, and people want to show their goodwill by taking in these damaged souls, there are reasons that children in 9th grade and beyond should not be adopted from foster care. I am confident that I am an expert on this topic and I will explain why teenagers in foster care should not be adopted. I have two real life examples to share with you: myself and a girl we had in our care.<br />
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Foster teens who are college bound will get FREE tuition after filing the FAFSA (Free Application for Financial Aid), and there are additional transition resources to help pay for room and board (apartments and food), books, computers and transportation. Students must still meet admissions requirements for a four year college, but financial aid will apply to a Community College or accredited Career and Technical institution as well. Follow this link for additional information: <a href="http://www.fosteryouthhelp.ca.gov/10facts.html" target="_blank">10 Facts Foster Youth Should Know</a><br />
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When I went to college in 1989, I was in a foster home. My guardians loved me very much, but explained to me at the time, "We are not going to adopt you because you can get a free college education." Not being adopted did not make me feel unloved, or that I did not belong in their family. All foster parents who have the perspective of their foster child's future in mind are loving because they are not focused on their own pat on the back for doing a good deed for mankind.<br />
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As a second example, we took in a teenager for her 9th, 10th and part of 11th grade school years. She did not want to be adopted, and moved out of our house before she graduated. However, when she was in 11th grade, she had a transition counselor working with her, planning for her life after high school. In Indiana, the Department of Child and Family Services provides housing for teens up to age 21 (with regulations in place- i.e., no drug use, no one else living with them, etc). Our former student received free tuition, a free apartment, free childcare, and extra living expenses after filing the FAFSA <a href="http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/" target="_blank">Free Application for Federal Student Aid</a>. As far as we know, she paid nothing for her first year of college.<br />
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I do want to insert here that younger children and special needs children SHOULD be considered for adoption because there are a lot of ramifications if they are not adopted when eligible. For one, they are forced to move around from home to home while their case manager tries to find an adoptive home. At a young age, this is developmentally damaging to children. Moving and being insecure can cause mental and emotional damage that could last throughout a lifetime. Being adopted also reduces the financial burden on taxpayers, which is a fact.<br />
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If you have questions about financial aid, please go to the FAFSA website or contact a school counselor.<br />
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<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-2083789554830937962017-06-14T19:40:00.001-04:002017-06-14T19:40:29.520-04:00Career & Technical Education (CTE)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Vocational School has come a long way. Those my age and older (I am 46) will remember attending high school and hearing some kids talk about going to vocational school, or the Career Center. The students we knew who attended there were taking classes in Cosmetology, Auto Repair, or Construction (at least those are the three I remember). Today, it is so much more! Students can take classes in Graphic Imaging, Precision Machining, Radio and TV Broadcasting, Landscaping Design, Health Sciences, Heating and Air - you name it. If you want to get a good idea of what I am talking about, visit the website of the CTE Center close to my school: <a href="http://area31.wayne.k12.in.us/" target="_blank">Area 31</a><br />
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What I really am excited about, is that students who participate in these programs are highly likely to get a job when they graduate if they pass and get all certifications required for their field. Almost all of the programs at Area 31 are dual credit classes, which means they receive college credit at one of the community colleges who partner with them. This increases students' opportunities for further education and jobs.<br />
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I just received a mailing from my state representative in Indiana discussing new legislature and he states that, "A new law aligns career and technical education programs with current and future employer needs to help fill the nearly 30,000 job openings in Indiana." Our schools are changing their programs to meet the specific needs of employers. Now we need to recruit for these programs.<br />
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I get several calls each year from industries asking if we have students who want to work, and they are willing to train them. Most of these jobs for untrained workers start their base pay at $13 or $14 per hour, which is double that of food service and retail.<br />
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A barrier I run into as a school counselor is that more and more of today's students want to work less than 40 hours a week, and they don't really want to work that hard. We are doing our part to try to get students interested in these programs, and my school, Harris Academy, requires all sophomores who attend to apply for CTE classes for their junior year. Next year, approximately 40 of our 170 students will be attending Area 31. I am very proud of our students. The key is to keep giving them the facts and the information about the opportunities that are out there. If we get excited about it, students who are not traditional college bound students will get excited about it too. One language that both young and old understand from birth is money. When students see their earning potential matched with something they like, they will be successful!Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-76227195905861332642017-04-30T18:07:00.003-04:002017-04-30T18:08:51.844-04:00Watch The Bad Kids Documentary on Netflix"The number one reason a student drops out is not having a relationship with a caring adult."<br />
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A parent of one of my students recommended the documentary "The Bad Kids". It paints a really good picture of what our alternative school is like, except these students have a little more socio-economic struggle. The only thing I wish producers had done, was not named the documentary "The Bad Kids." What it really is about, is students who have a lot of aimless talent, who have been trying to overcome life challenges. Many of them hate school and have gotten behind on credits. It also highlights the emotional toll working and caring for these teens can take on staff members.<br />
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All educators and parents of challenging students will appreciate this documentary. The documentary highlights three or four students in particular and follows them through their time at school. Most students who attend Black Rock eventually graduate due to the caring staff at Black Rock Continuation High School, as well as their own change of heart and mindset. There are always a couple of students, who are in the minority, who don't make it, because they can't seem to overcome the mental hurdle it takes to focus on graduation instead of what is going on at home.<br />
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This film highlights the students' dire situations without displaying the shocking details. Much of it is in conversation on school grounds and interviews. Some scenes are filmed at the students, houses or at after school gatherings. This is a great American human interest story.<br />
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Here is a link to the movie page and trailer: <a href="http://www.thebadkidsmovie.com/#the-bad-kids" target="_blank">The Bad Kids</a> If you have an hour and forty one minutes to spare, please take the time to watch this. It's inspirational. It highlights successes and failures, and the reality of being a human teenager.<br />
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<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-39355784274171460362017-04-07T21:45:00.000-04:002017-04-07T21:45:22.641-04:00Thoughts on Flying<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><i>The desire to fly is an idea handed down to us by our ancestors, who— in their grueling travels across trackless lands in prehistoric times — looked enviously on the birds soaring freely through space at full speed, above all obstacles, on the infinite highway of the air. - Wilbur Wright (1867-1912</i></b><br />
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I don't fly often, but when I do, I am always really, really amazed at the technology and people that have helped us arrive at where we are today. To think that we can fly around the world in a vehicle that won't fall from the sky and follows a path without lines, roads, and visibility, is almost beyond my comprehension. The intelligence that God gave many men and women is not the same intelligence that he gave me!<br />
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In flying, there is a different level of trust we have to put in the the pilots, plane, and mechanics who check the planes after every flight (hopefully!). To think about falling out of the sky is terrifying, but researchers tell me it is safer than driving a car on the road! <br />
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My favorite part of flying is take-off because it is just fun to lean back with the plane, look out the window, and see the patterns of the roads, neighborhoods and clouds in the sky. It's just amazing to me.<br />
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Does this really have much to do with school counseling? Not much, but as with anything, I could make an analogy pretty easily. My job is to help students "learn to fly", by encouraging them to take risks, dream, and set goals that seem pretty impossible. Would anyone living in the early 1800's ever think that a person could ride a vehicle in the sky (first flight 1903 in the United States) let alone ride in one on a road (first car in 1879 in the United States)? I wonder how many dreamed of those possibilities before they ever came into fruition? We all have dreams that we sometimes don't act on and before we know it, someone else has taken that opportunity. Being in high school is the perfect place to begin dreaming big and finding a way to make things happen.Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-46235491103504314852017-02-27T19:31:00.001-05:002017-02-27T19:34:23.119-05:00The Heroes of the Battle: School Counselor Recognition Month <br />
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February is National School Counselor recognition.While not wanting to trivialize actual soldiers in war, it often feels like we counselors are in the battle for the souls of children within our care 8 hours a day, and every one of us is a hero, although we would not think of ourselves that way. The Indiana Youth Institute collects data every year of the most serious and prevalent issues our school aged children face. This year's findings suggested that the top issues in Indiana specifically are: poverty, teen suicide, depression, infant mortality, child abuse, increasing access to weapons, and relationship violence.<br />
The full study can be obtained by clicking here: <a href="https://www.iyi.org/data-library/data-services/kids-count-data-book/" target="_blank">IYI 2017 Kids Count in Indiana Data Book</a><br />
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With the exception of infant mortality and increasing access to weapons, school counselors deal with the other issues on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. At my school I make an average of one CPS phone call, assess suicide, and assist in relationship violence or abuse every 2-3 months, and deal with effects of poverty, depression and relationship abuse on a daily basis. School counselors fight for the healthy minds and well being of our students. This is on top of other regular responsibilities such as scheduling.<br />
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I believe many students, especially middle and high school aged, are suffering from a mental health crisis. I like this definition I found on the internet:<br />
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<span class="_Tgc">A <b>mental health crisis</b> is a non-life
threatening situation in which an individual is exhibiting extreme
emotional disturbance or behavioral distress, considering harm to self
or others, disoriented or out of touch with reality, has a compromised
ability to function, or is otherwise agitated and unable to be calmed.</span><br />
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<span class="_Tgc">We can spend a lot of time researching cause and effect, but the truth is, our schools are filled with students who are in constant distress about something. So many things contribute to this: family disturbance, genetic inheritance, social anxieties, academic pressures, relational abuse, and self-medicating practices. As school counselors, we must continue to advocate for a lower counselor to student ratio, social workers in the schools, and resilience to keep learning how to assist without giving up. Our youth are our future and we must continue to celebrate their successes and inspire hope for their futures. Continue to be heroes.</span>Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-88967894780543350842016-12-31T18:13:00.001-05:002016-12-31T18:13:53.605-05:00Nicco's Lesson from Probation<span lang="en-US"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span dir="ltr" id="divtagdefaultwrapper" style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">We have a student at Harris Academy who is a great kid. We enjoy having him and he is a role model for other students. He stays out of the "drama" per se, and is often caught trying to talk reason into some of the students. He recently wrote an essay for his English teacher about a lesson he learned through being on probation. His name has been changed. I think you will enjoy the following short writing prompt. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">When
was the last time you really challenged yourself? I'm not talking about
beating some video game on the hardest difficulty, I'm talking about when you went out
and made a difference. When was the last time you did that? Sometimes
it can be difficult, I know, but like Martin Luther King Jr. once said,
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of
comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and
controversy." So if you really want to be measured
as a good man then do something difficult and meaningful.</span></div>
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When I was on probation, it
was by far the hardest six months of my life. Everyone judged me and
thought of me as a hoodlum and projected that I would violate probation seven times before I
would finally get sent to jail or something. Everyone
told themselves they couldn't trust me and that I was a bad person. The entire six months I had nothing- my dad took my computer, TV, friends, longboard, and I wasn't even allowed to go to youth group. And because of that,
everyone thought I didn't stand a chance in
this world. Everyone thought I would lose hope and flunk out of school,
get stuck flipping patties at McDonald's or something like that, but I
pushed through it and now, here (at Harris Academy), I am doing good in school, staying
out of trouble the best I can, and passing classes
all day every day. Now just think, how do you want to be measured for
what you did in times of challenge and controversy? Do you want to be
the man who quit? Or the man who rose above and made the best out of his
situation?</div>
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For example, in "The Fantastic Mr. Fox"
when Mr. Fox gets in too deep with the farmers and gets trapped
underground, he's prepared to sacrifice himself so that his family and the
rest of the innocent animals can get out alive. Then
he realizes his nephew Kristofferson got captured by the farmers, and
they go on a rescue mission to save Kristofferson. After they save
Kristofferson they realize they are still trapped in the sewers and
there's no way out alive, but they don't just give
up. They start digging "in a very special direction this time"
according to Mr. Fox, and they dig and dig until finally they find where
the farmers keep all their livestock and cider. They take it
all and continue living a happy rich life in the
sewers as the farmers await Mr. Fox's return to the surface. Mr. Fox was
truly a good fox.</div>
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So next time you think
somethings too hard for you or you just don't want to do it, remember
"the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of
comfort and convenience but where he stands at times
of challenge and controversy." And go above and beyond in whatever you are
doing.</div>
</span>Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-64177919424153683772016-10-29T12:52:00.004-04:002016-10-29T12:52:51.392-04:00A Fish in the Wrong School<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I took this picture at random while visiting the zoo this summer. As I was looking through the pictures the other day, I noticed the fish in the middle on the left and suddenly thought about the kids I work with at my alternative school. Our education system pushes all students in the same direction, and from outside the tank it looks pretty and cool, but on the inside, some of the "fish" know they are not in the right "school."<br />
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All of our students come from various backgrounds and no two are alike. One of the upsides of working in an alternative school is I see that kids who come here are unique and different from the school where they felt like a fish out of water. I recently attended an alternative school forum and got to meet some counselors and administrators from other alternative schools. One of the things I learned is that all of us who work in alternative schools have the same goals for our students who come there: to help them learn and thrive in the way that fits them best. Isn't that what the Learning Styles movement of the 90's in education was all about? While many teachers work towards this end (and I must brag that our school district does an extremely good job at this), many are still not adjusting to figuring out a student's learning style and many schools across the country have high drop out rates.<br />
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So many of our kids who have been with us for awhile (more than 9 weeks) often say they feel at home in our school, our teachers care, and they never want to leave until they graduate. It amazes us how their mindset changes from the first day they arrive. Their attitude is often, "I just want to make up my credits and get back to my own high school." I guarantee that in the last 2 1/2 years, we have only had approximately 3 students go back to their home high school. For most who come, it is a perfect fit. Our challenges are hefty- often the students are wrapped up in their social world of friends and family and sometimes they fail some classes during their adjustment period, and we often work harder than the students do to move them toward success. Overall, though, the struggles end up being worth it when students display maturing attitudes, develop a sense of urgency to complete their courses, and ultimately graduate.<br />
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Success ultimately lies in building the relationships it takes for students to want to do better. I am deeply grateful for the alternative school concept and the innovative people who started them. When students find the right school, they are able to thrive and show their beautiful "fish" colors. (I had to tie in the picture here at the end!)<br />
<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-37469101600051899362016-08-27T18:11:00.000-04:002016-08-27T18:23:09.167-04:00Tips for a Broken Heart<br />
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Grief and heartache affect us all. Our lives rotate in cycles. Joy, Sorrow, Grief, Happiness. Each time we hit the grief cycle, we think we will never get out. Most of us do find our way out. The ones who don't may find themselves stuck in depression (the 4th stage of grief) for the rest of their lives.<br />
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How do we successfully move through the stages of grief to reach #5-acceptance? (The first four are denial, anger, bargaining and depression)<br />
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In my lifetime so far, I have concluded there are a few important things we can do.<br />
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1. Allow ourselves to grieve. Don't suppress any emotions- sadness, anger, fear, etc. When emotions become overwhelming, do something to relieve your mind and body of the stress- take a walk, reach out to a friend, read a book, play video games- whatever you gravitate to for enjoyment at the end of the day.<br />
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2. Allow ourselves to be happy. Often losing someone imposes a heap of guilt on us if we do something fun after our loved one is gone. There is nothing more our loved one would want than for us to return to a state of happiness.<br />
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3. Have faith. It's OK to question God and ask the hard questions. He can handle it. Be sure to ask him to give you faith to keep believing. He has promised we will never walk this earth alone. <br />
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4. Surround ourselves with people. We are created to be relational. Having others to talk to and grieve with is an important part of the process. We can't isolate ourselves.<br />
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5. Let people do things for us. In a time of need, people want to help. Let them help by raising money if they want to, bringing meals, and writing encouraging notes.<br />
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6. Realize we may grieve the rest of our lives. Grief is a lifelong process. It's OK to do special things yearly on birthdays or special holidays in remembrance.<br />
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I'll end by leaving this song that I really like. It's called Never Once and is sung by Matt Redman.<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=722zPX1npcA" target="_blank">Never Once by Matt Redman</a>Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2917783798536725395.post-42108070175234376212016-07-08T18:07:00.000-04:002016-07-08T18:07:32.403-04:00This Violence from a School Counselor's Point of View<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have been a school counselor for 20 years now. Stories of violence ebbs and flows, but I must admit this recent outbreak has shaken me. As a lover of all cultures, this deeply saddens me and makes me wonder why we have to go back to the place we were when Martin Luther King Jr. was shot over racial tensions. The triggers for the actual acts of violence may differ, the but the root of the anger is the same.<br />
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I have always had a soft heart for the outcast, the abused, the mentally ill. I was always quick to befriend the foreign exchange student and adopted a multi-racial child. I know that abuse, family disruptions, and mental health disorders have greatly contributed to abuse and mental illness. I know that when I talk to a student who is angry, I have to give them space and time. That doesn't mean I leave them alone. They often sit in my office or a space in the office until they have had time to diffuse. I often say things to upset students along this line- "We're going to get through this. You're going to be OK. Take a few minutes and get your breath. I know you are pretty upset right now."<br />
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Thankfully, this works in about 99% of the cases. I was shocked one time when a student most of the staff had a good relationship with refused to calm down, tried to start something with the principal, and ended up being escorted out of the building by a resource officer. <br />
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I am here to tell you, that building positive relationships with kids (who turn into adults) works 99% of the time in diffusing the situation and getting the student help. I think my colleagues would heartily agree with me. The one student out of one hundred that endangers other people with his or her behavior is the one that possibly no one can help. I have seen this type of behavior in both boys and girls.<br />
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What can we do? Once again, the answer is not to build more prisons and lock people up. We MUST reach our young people EARLY. This means in the education world- PLEASE stop giving school counselors 600+ students to watch over and care for. We do not sit around and do nothing but schedule! Like the above statistic, 99% of school counselors are TRAINED and READY to deal with violent student behavior. We are trained to de-escalate situations and to talk students in "kid language," to find resources for them when they are troubled, to do suicide assessments. Please don't judge us by the 1 counselor that didn't do their job and left a bad impression on you.<br />
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We are trying to prepare our kids for the future with our character education, counseling, and parent contacts. We KNOW that the students we work with our our future. We love every single one of them. The ones who in our eyes "don't make it," i.e. pursue acts of violence on society, partner abuse, and child abuse, are the ones who are VERY hurt and need resources for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I have never worked with a student who was violent who did not have something very traumatic happen to him or her.<br />
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So please, if you are concerned about a young person in your neighborhood, call the school counselor. That is a great place to start. We never ignore a concerned call, even if it is anonymous. And if any of us have, I am sorry. Sometimes having a caseload of 600+ students is a bit overwhelming.<br />
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All my love to the hurting children who commit acts of violence.<br />
<br />Sharrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.com0