A Teenage Thanksgiving

This year my principal, Lynn, decided that we were going to have mandatory fun days once per quarter. During quarter one we had a picnic lunch outside on a nice day. The kids loved it. They got to have teenage recess, which we all know is good for the teenage soul.  I am really thankful for a place like Harris where kids who need the extra attention can easily find it.  The kids bond with each other, respecting each other and their personalities. Many of our students come from homes that just haven't been able to provide all that they have needed growing up, or where they have not been given appropriate boundaries. We attempt to help them adjust to having boundaries before we send them off after graduation to a job, college or technical training.

We are tested every day by these fierce, independent, free thinking teenagers. Many of them don't celebrate a "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner, so this year Lynn decided to throw them a full Thanksgiving feast with the help of our awesome cafeteria staff. Turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, and pumpkin pie.

The students loved it. A couple of the teachers also had "craft stations" prepared where the kids could make hand turkeys and write thankful cards.

One of our teachers, Carolyn, then hung them up in the lobby. I loved reading them, because I know that deep down, these often troubled teens have good hearts and they are thankful. Most of them were thankful for a school like Harris where they feel accepted and supported, and as the student in the above card wrote, " I am grateful for . . . the family I have that's not blood."

One of our other teachers Holly went out and bought $5 gift cards and taped pictures to the bottom of the plates, and whoever found them got to choose one of the gift cards (teenage popular places like McDonald's and Taco Bell, of course!).

Mandatory fun days are not just for "killing time because the kids have checked out before break" (although that is a side benefit). Mandatory fun days are also for practicing social interactions and relieving stress by just visiting with each other. As one student said to me at the end of the day, "I like this school way better than the high school." Yay for Harris!

A Day In The Life of an Alternative School Counselor Part 2

Each day is so interesting. I was trying to think of a good way to start this post, and last week I received my first of 4 evaluations from my principal. Some of the evaluations are unannounced, and since we work right beside each other, she sees what I do on an almost minute by minute basis.  I laughed when I read what she wrote, because I had no idea she was observing me, but this is so true: 

"Harris effectively serves its students and families -  Today, and today only, she met with 2 new students and their families, had an IEP conference with one of them, showed me how to run a Powerschool report, verified schedules, ensured a student was dressed properly for an interview, and covered a class so a teacher could (get something done)."

This is a good summary of what I do on a daily basis. What she didn't hear was the student who came in crying at 7:45 because she had just had a fight with her mom, or the parent who called to ask about Harris, and would Harris be a good fit for her struggling child- I get about one of those calls per week, or me telling a student not to argue with our awesome admin assistant, Mrs. M.  I also communicate regularly with the 4 BHS counselors and the 7 AHS counselors who always have an "excellent candidate" for a spot at Harris. Our spots are limited, because we want to keep our class sizes at 16 (state recommendation for an alternative school), and because a small school is what makes us effective for so many of the students.

I also send and receive, as an estimate, over 100 e-mails per day. I have to constantly communicate with our staff, parents, and community partners (such as therapists, trade schools, and educational liasons).  Our teachers work tirelessly to help our students earn their credits. We all make joint efforts to call parents, chase them down when they are absent, and chide them when they aren't focused on earning credits, but instead are wrapped up in family or social drama.

Of all of the positions I have had as a school counselor, this one is no doubt the most exhausting, but also the most interesting.

A Day in the Life of an Alternative School Counselor Part 1

It has been awhile since I wrote a post. One reason I don't write regularly is because I often wonder what people think about stories I may write, and I know that I cannot use names or specific details in re-telling any story about a current student. A couple of years ago, I wrote about my day in the life of a middle school counselor, so it occurred to me that I can share a lot about my present position by simply describing what I do on a daily basis.

I'd like to start by explaining how our alternative school works. In a previous post, I mentioned reasons students attend an alternative school, so I won't repeat all of those. One of the main components of my job is to schedule students.  We don't schedule like a traditional high school, where students pick their classes in the spring, course numbers are entered, and the computer generates a schedule for the entire next year.

At my high school, we service students in grades 9-12, and the students register with us every 9 weeks. Students earn semester credits in a 9 week period, because we have block scheduling, so students can earn anywhere between 4-6 credits in one quarter. This allows them to earn between 16-24 credits in one school year which is why it is a great option for credit deficient students and those wanting to graduate early. Students who are really diligent and put their mind to it could potentially earn 2 years of high school credit in one year.

We do have some of those highly motivated students, but we have a few more who would rather come and earn a few credits at a time, take their time, and end up graduating on time, because they don't really have a plan if they are going to graduate early.

One of my many roles is to schedule the students' classes BY HAND every 9 weeks. This means I enter the master schedule that the principal and I agree on based on what our students need each quarter. We have teachers who teach our core classes- Math, English, Science, and Social Studies, and then our electives are mostly completed online in our virtual classroom.  As students complete classes early, I try to find them another class to take if they finish early enough to complete another class. Our teachers teach mini lessons, and then supervise students working at their own pace. Our teachers tirelessly assist each student individually, answering questions and pushing them along.

One last way that our school runs academically, is students can attend a half day, and then be released to work at a job, for which they can earn up to six elective credits (100 hours of work = 1 credit). The sophomores also have the option of attending our Vocational School nearby for half a day. A bus takes them and brings them back, and they can earn a vocational certification in one of many areas of study.

My next post will focus on what I do on a daily basis to address behavioral and emotional needs of students and parents. That is what really keeps me hopping! On any given day, my mental brain energy is used up and when I get home I take a 30 minute nap!

Thoughts From a Mom

I have been a school counselor for 19 years, and it was finally time for a senior in my own house to graduate! Now I can call my self an expert counselor because I have experienced everything I have been advising parents on, right? By no means an expert, navigating senior year with my daughter was somewhat of a breeze since I knew the ins and outs of college admissions, financial aid, and ACT/SAT stuff.

I am sitting here in the middle of summer, getting ready to take Julia to college in about 4 weeks. I am already thinking ahead about how quiet the house will be; how much I will miss her, and hoping and praying she succeeds in college. It is time for me to let her fly. I have no intention of being a helicopter parent, as much as I wish I could fly a drone over her campus to see what she is doing every day.

I know that I will see her often.  Well at least for her first year. College has fewer weeks per semester than high school.  I am well aware that she may end up spending her summers at college, or at a camp somewhere as a counselor, or another job that would give her real life experience. I am excited for her even though I will miss her very, very much.

My younger daughter is going to start her sophomore year, so I will have three years to focus on giving her the attention and guidance she needs. Julia, as the oldest, got to be an only child for her first three years of life. Stacey will get to be an only child for her last three years of high school. It will be different having an only child, but I know that kids growing up and moving on is a part of the cycle of life.

I am happy for my daughter to go out into the world, well prepared by her high school, and I hope, well prepared by her parents.
 

Don't Let Your Past Plan Your Future- Part 2

The damage has been done. You've been abused (no one likes that word). You've been told you are worthless, nothing, unloved. Maybe you were told that with words. Maybe you were told that with actions- mom left, dad left. Now what are you going to do? Grieve. Yes. Move on. You should.

You can and should do both of those things. Grieve the loss of a great relationship that you should have had with your mom or dad. Be angry that they made bad choices and you were #2 on their list- behind the drugs. Behind the alcohol. Or behind the boyfriend or girlfriend. It's a fact. You weren't taken care of properly. It hurts. It stings. You've tried begging for things to be different. It never happened.

Now you find yourself as a teenager, very close to age 18, ready to walk into the "adult" world. Because of the damage that has been done, you are scared. You don't believe you can make it on your own, because the messages are obvious. You look like your mom. You act like your dad. You're not very smart and you aren't going to ever get ahead. You already started smoking. You don't know what to do with your anger. You have already gotten in trouble with the law for selling drugs, or breaking into a home to find money for drugs. Or you already let a boy slap you and use you.

Do you want to be different? Do you want to change? How can you? There are resources out there. While you still have access to teachers, school counselors, and principals- go talk to them. They will give you ideas, help you fill out applications, help you make phone calls. Whatever it takes to help you change your patch of self-destruction you are on.

 Now is the time to make a change. Do it. Move on.

Don't Let your Past Plan Your Future- Part 1

 

As I have been working with teenagers at the high school level for the past 6 months, I have been at times happy, sad, frustrated, angry, and hopeful. My emotions go up and down with theirs. There had been something bothering me about their words and actions, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it- until the other day when I was mulling over in my mind various phrases to try to describe what I would most like to say to these 14-18 year olds. I am a poetry/poster person, always trying to think of something I can do or say that will inspire or motivate.

I was trying to remember a poster I had seen one time that I thought said, Don't Let Your Past Define Your Future, but that wasn't what I wanted to say. I needed another word. Then it came to me. These kids often times let their past plan what is going to happen to them in the future, like it's a done deal. BUT IT'S NOT!

These kids need to know or learn how to put their mind and truth over their emotions. We all fall into the trap- we are human. The trap meaning we let others actions and words affect us in the deepest parts of our hearts and mind so that we become paralyzed to change our future. Some of us are highly damaged goods and we let our parents, spouses, close friends, co-workers, or whoever is closest to us tell us what we are doomed to do that is negative or self-destructive.

There will always be an ageless debate of whether or not we have genes that lead us to repeat the bad things that our parents have done to us or said to us. We have personality traits that are inherited, but we all can make our own choices about what we do, who we hang out with, how we spend our money, and what habits we pick up. We are not destined for "badness," we are destined to be what God intended us to be and do. We have choices.

My next post will be more about the students, some of the issues they face, and why I think they let their past plan their futures.