3 Things School Counselors Want You to Know About Their Jobs

It is rare that I come across an article explaining my job to people, but this is a nice succinct article that was published just this week by the New York Times. Anyone interested in becoming a school counselor may want to take a look at this. I feel there is SO much more to include in what our jobs are about, so look for future posts on my blog. I have started a list of what I do month to month in my job. When it is "complete", I'll do a post. It really is a lot more than some people think!

I will make my part of this post short, as this article covers it, but I can summarize quickly what the author is saying:

1. School Counselors have a Master's Degree-  they use evidence-based practices and manage data
2. School Counselors are not disciplinarians- we have to maintain confidentiality and openness with students and earn their trust
3. It is important to work on "soft" skills with students, parents, and teachers (i.e. negotiation, listening, goal setting, career planning)

Click on the link below to read the New York Times article:

3 Things School Counselors Want You to Know About Their Jobs

The S Word

I won't leave you guessing. The word is Suicide. Every year I feel compelled to point out the serious mental health issue of depression, especially during the months of January and February. Unfortunately, the school district I work in experienced a suicide about a month ago. He was only 14, a ninth grader. Experts say there are almost always signs. I went over to sit with students the day after it happened, and many of them told me, "I had no idea. No one saw any signs."

Before this happened, the district counselors had scheduled a training in suicide prevention, so a couple of weeks later, we gathered in one of the middle schools to hear a presentation from a hospital social worker on how we can best help in these situations.  He suggested something called QPR- Question, Persuade, Refer. Ask a Question, Save a Life, by Paul Quinnnett, Ph.D. www.qprinstitute.com. This website offers an individual online training of $29.95 or options for group or organizational training.

Another very useful tool for teenagers or those who work with teenagers is a free app for your phone or tablet called Jason Foundation A Friend Asks. Their website also has a lot of free, helpful information. Click here: The Jason Foundation

If you are not sure if someone is suicidal, watch for these signs:

Suicidal talk, such as, "I wish I were dead," "I wish I weren't here anymore," "I want to kill myself," etc.
A known previous attempt
Giving things away i.e. special or personal items
Lingering depression
Increased or new drug or alcohol abuse
Purchase of a gun unexpectedly
Stockpiling prescription medication

If you are inexperienced or scared to talk to someone about suicide, call a school counselor or social worker for a school aged child, or you can call 1-800-273-8255, which is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Let's wrap our arms and hearts around each other and help save lives.

Calvin a.k.a. Austin

One of the highlights of my weeks in recent months has been the writing prompts that my English teacher friend Carolyn has her students do. Writing prompts are a way to get the students to express their creativity and thoughts without judgment or "research paper quality" techniques. Both of the English teachers in our school do this on a daily basis, and we think that the recent increase in passing the state graduating requirement exam is due, in part, to this teaching strategy.

On to the reason I am posting this. Carolyn has funny students. She also has sensitive and thoughtful students. Today's writing prompt is from one of her funny students: Austin. Without further "adeu," here is something he wrote recently. If you must picture someone (since all stories have more meaning when we know the characters involved), picture the infamous cartoon character, Calvin. Some of you younger folks probably need to google him.

"So for the Expository thing we're supposed to type something in step by step form of something we are good at. I myself am very good at getting myself out of s*** or sneaking out of class, but since I can't really give a step by step of how to do that, I was going to give a step by step of how to stare off into space and procrastinate the majority of the class period in order to get behind in work for the rest of the quarter.

The first step that makes this process ten times easier is having Attention Deficit Disorder, so if you are seated by a window in class, or if you are put by a female with shiny jewelry in her ears or around her neck, you'll be distracted the entire time.  You can also run around and dip out of classes as long as you're quiet enough and have enough charisma to buy yourself out of trouble if you get caught.  Always try to keep a smile.

You can have an overactive imagination and end up overthinking things that were said in class until you're caught staring off into space.  Before you know it, you have eight days left to complete four classes you haven't done s**** in. I do not recommend doing these things, but this is one of the things I have found that I have a strong talent in, and actually choose to type up, because I think that my other talent of singing 90's Hip Hop in the shower just simply cannot be taught."

Calvin, a.k.a. Austin, speaks for many of our Harris Academy students.

Thoughts From Funerals

A death in the family or circle of friends is not easy for anyone. It's not easy because no one knows what to say, what to do, how to help. Death is a final separation of an earthly relationship and no one can step back in time to change anything. Every culture and religion has it's rituals to memorialize a person and give an opportunity for final goodbyes to be said. We are all on a spiritual journey, and for everyone, that includes death.  Grieving is a private matter. We don't judge people on how they react. We shouldn't anyway.

I have been to five funerals in five weeks. Four of them happened to be in one week. The first one was the passing of my birth mom. This week, a rare tragedy occurred. Four of our town's teenagers died in a car accident. Three of those students attended my small Harris Academy (we have approximately 160 students).

This kind of tragedy is difficult for anyone, and for teenagers who are not exposed to death as much as those of us who are aging, it is almost incomprehensible. For the community it was a shock, and opportunity to pull together and support these families and friends.

As I attended the funerals, I noticed myself wanting to hear the stories about the students that made them who they are, and how they affected those around them. The kinds of things I kept hearing were, "He made people laugh. He loved people. He hugged everyone. He had an entourage of friends everywhere he went. He was adventurous. He had a heart of gold."  As I sat through the services, I knew that everything said about the boys was sincere, and I didn't think at all that stuff was being made up to make people feel better. These boys were loved for a lot of reasons, but mostly because of the love they showed other people in their short lives.

All five of the funerals I attended this past month had pastors who spoke words of comfort from the Bible. Their messages were warm and heartfelt, pointing people to the hope we can find in God and His Son, Jesus.  Since I attended all four funerals, I also saw a lot of teenagers I hadn't seen since they were in middle school (I moved from one building to another in our district a couple of years ago). While I didn't remember every name, I did remember every face. I hugged as many as I could reach. People are important and it's good to let others know we care.

No one can be replaced (in a job yes, in a family or as a friend, no). My take away this week is to practice caring about other people more than I care about myself (Jesus mentioned this is a good idea), and to not behave in ways that cause others to wonder what my faith is, or what my priority in treating others is. If they have to think hard, then I have not lived my life the way God asked me to. This life is all about relationships and how we treat each other. Take care of others the way you would take care of yourself. And. Be merciful to those who make mistakes, because none of us can be perfect on earth. We are humans, not angels.

A Teenage Thanksgiving

This year my principal, Lynn, decided that we were going to have mandatory fun days once per quarter. During quarter one we had a picnic lunch outside on a nice day. The kids loved it. They got to have teenage recess, which we all know is good for the teenage soul.  I am really thankful for a place like Harris where kids who need the extra attention can easily find it.  The kids bond with each other, respecting each other and their personalities. Many of our students come from homes that just haven't been able to provide all that they have needed growing up, or where they have not been given appropriate boundaries. We attempt to help them adjust to having boundaries before we send them off after graduation to a job, college or technical training.

We are tested every day by these fierce, independent, free thinking teenagers. Many of them don't celebrate a "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner, so this year Lynn decided to throw them a full Thanksgiving feast with the help of our awesome cafeteria staff. Turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffing, and pumpkin pie.

The students loved it. A couple of the teachers also had "craft stations" prepared where the kids could make hand turkeys and write thankful cards.

One of our teachers, Carolyn, then hung them up in the lobby. I loved reading them, because I know that deep down, these often troubled teens have good hearts and they are thankful. Most of them were thankful for a school like Harris where they feel accepted and supported, and as the student in the above card wrote, " I am grateful for . . . the family I have that's not blood."

One of our other teachers Holly went out and bought $5 gift cards and taped pictures to the bottom of the plates, and whoever found them got to choose one of the gift cards (teenage popular places like McDonald's and Taco Bell, of course!).

Mandatory fun days are not just for "killing time because the kids have checked out before break" (although that is a side benefit). Mandatory fun days are also for practicing social interactions and relieving stress by just visiting with each other. As one student said to me at the end of the day, "I like this school way better than the high school." Yay for Harris!

A Day In The Life of an Alternative School Counselor Part 2

Each day is so interesting. I was trying to think of a good way to start this post, and last week I received my first of 4 evaluations from my principal. Some of the evaluations are unannounced, and since we work right beside each other, she sees what I do on an almost minute by minute basis.  I laughed when I read what she wrote, because I had no idea she was observing me, but this is so true: 

"Harris effectively serves its students and families -  Today, and today only, she met with 2 new students and their families, had an IEP conference with one of them, showed me how to run a Powerschool report, verified schedules, ensured a student was dressed properly for an interview, and covered a class so a teacher could (get something done)."

This is a good summary of what I do on a daily basis. What she didn't hear was the student who came in crying at 7:45 because she had just had a fight with her mom, or the parent who called to ask about Harris, and would Harris be a good fit for her struggling child- I get about one of those calls per week, or me telling a student not to argue with our awesome admin assistant, Mrs. M.  I also communicate regularly with the 4 BHS counselors and the 7 AHS counselors who always have an "excellent candidate" for a spot at Harris. Our spots are limited, because we want to keep our class sizes at 16 (state recommendation for an alternative school), and because a small school is what makes us effective for so many of the students.

I also send and receive, as an estimate, over 100 e-mails per day. I have to constantly communicate with our staff, parents, and community partners (such as therapists, trade schools, and educational liasons).  Our teachers work tirelessly to help our students earn their credits. We all make joint efforts to call parents, chase them down when they are absent, and chide them when they aren't focused on earning credits, but instead are wrapped up in family or social drama.

Of all of the positions I have had as a school counselor, this one is no doubt the most exhausting, but also the most interesting.

A Day in the Life of an Alternative School Counselor Part 1

It has been awhile since I wrote a post. One reason I don't write regularly is because I often wonder what people think about stories I may write, and I know that I cannot use names or specific details in re-telling any story about a current student. A couple of years ago, I wrote about my day in the life of a middle school counselor, so it occurred to me that I can share a lot about my present position by simply describing what I do on a daily basis.

I'd like to start by explaining how our alternative school works. In a previous post, I mentioned reasons students attend an alternative school, so I won't repeat all of those. One of the main components of my job is to schedule students.  We don't schedule like a traditional high school, where students pick their classes in the spring, course numbers are entered, and the computer generates a schedule for the entire next year.

At my high school, we service students in grades 9-12, and the students register with us every 9 weeks. Students earn semester credits in a 9 week period, because we have block scheduling, so students can earn anywhere between 4-6 credits in one quarter. This allows them to earn between 16-24 credits in one school year which is why it is a great option for credit deficient students and those wanting to graduate early. Students who are really diligent and put their mind to it could potentially earn 2 years of high school credit in one year.

We do have some of those highly motivated students, but we have a few more who would rather come and earn a few credits at a time, take their time, and end up graduating on time, because they don't really have a plan if they are going to graduate early.

One of my many roles is to schedule the students' classes BY HAND every 9 weeks. This means I enter the master schedule that the principal and I agree on based on what our students need each quarter. We have teachers who teach our core classes- Math, English, Science, and Social Studies, and then our electives are mostly completed online in our virtual classroom.  As students complete classes early, I try to find them another class to take if they finish early enough to complete another class. Our teachers teach mini lessons, and then supervise students working at their own pace. Our teachers tirelessly assist each student individually, answering questions and pushing them along.

One last way that our school runs academically, is students can attend a half day, and then be released to work at a job, for which they can earn up to six elective credits (100 hours of work = 1 credit). The sophomores also have the option of attending our Vocational School nearby for half a day. A bus takes them and brings them back, and they can earn a vocational certification in one of many areas of study.

My next post will focus on what I do on a daily basis to address behavioral and emotional needs of students and parents. That is what really keeps me hopping! On any given day, my mental brain energy is used up and when I get home I take a 30 minute nap!