Mental Health in Schools

One of my Facebook contacts recently posted a journal entry from a student who knew the shooter in Florida.  It was posted in the New York Times this past week. Here is the link. Please take the time to read it: I Tried to Befriend Nikolas Cruz

This female student had an interaction in 7th grade in which he threw an apple at her back and he seemed to enjoy that she was hurt. Then in 8th grade, she had to tutor him as part of the peer tutoring program she had signed up for. At that time she also had a negative interaction with him.

Here is a quote from her article:
 "It is not the obligation of children to befriend classmates who have demonstrated aggressive, unpredictable or violent tendencies. It is the responsibility of the school administration and guidance department to seek out those students and get them the help that they need, even if it is extremely specialized attention that cannot be provided at the same institution."

I have been a school counselor for 20+ years and I agree with this student. In addition to the school staff assisting aggressive and mentally ill students, it is also the responsibility of the family unit to do something about this.  In all of my experiences with these types of students and their guardians, the guardians have been willing to follow my suggestions, whether that be getting a private therapist or having their child evaluated by an inpatient stress center.

Also in my experience, students come out of inpatient mental treatment centers and either continue their behavioral and mental health cycles, or they truly have reflected on what has happened to them and strive to make positive changes. Human emotions and actions are very complex. A child's formative years usually happen before age 10. In fact, research would tell you that personality is developed by age 6. Click here to see one article: Personality Set For Life by 1st Grade.

While personality is a big part of someone's biology, their life experiences play a huge role in how that personality develops over time.  I personally believe that only God can change a heart, and most of our efforts are futile at best. A child must develop an internal moral compass and a desire to look outward past their own pain and troubles to truly change. He or she must also develop strong, positive relationships along the way. Those they can confide in and get advice from. Most children are very open to adult influence. Those who have suffered much abuse and actually have had their brains altered due to emotional or physical trauma are the ones that are most resistant to change- whether they are able to on their own, or not able to based on severity of brain damage.

Every individual is different and there are a myriad of ways to help someone- therapies, medications, hospitalizations, etc. For some, those treatments may work, but for others, it does not, and those are the ones who end up in the penal system with severe mental illness and inability to cope or change.  While it is very sad, consequences must be handed out for the crimes.  Whatever solutions we come up with, we must not give up on the child. We must be vigilant and communicate with family to come up with the best possible treatment for mental health issues.  All students deserve to be protected.

Sensitive Souls

I wrote the following five years ago, but never posted it. As I re-read it, I thought, "I need to go ahead and put this out there. Someone needs to read it." I have since given up running, but that word can be replaced with biking, walking, exercising . . . etc.

I love to run. I can't run far, but I love to run. There's something about just getting out into the fresh air and taking a quick run around the neighborhood, listening to my favorite music. I do a lot of thinking on my runs. I usually am out for 20-30 minutes at the most, but it's enough time to get by myself with my thoughts and try to talk to God.

Sometimes I wonder why I am running, or what I might be running FROM. On my latest run I was thinking about sensitive souls- people who are conscientious of what others think of them and always take criticism, bad or good, to heart. I lose sleep over things that most people would just say, "If they think that about me, that's their problem."  Other people's comments toward me about my personality or character become my problems.  I was trying to think of a way to explain it to the world, and a word description came to mind. To a sensitive soul, a gentle reprimand sounds like a screaming accusation.

I often get accused of being "too sensitive," and jokes toward me shouldn't be taken so seriously. I should just laugh along with everyone who makes fun of me, because they are just kidding.  Most of the time, I just laugh, and other times, I just walk away so they can't see my expressions.  No one knows how deep the teasing goes, because I just laugh right along with them and pretend to laugh at myself. They don't really mean anything by their joking, and I know that.  To be honest, I don't really know why I am so easy to tease!  I guess I just say silly stuff.

Why am I telling you all this? And what does it have to do with school counseling?  People who have been hurt deeply are often sensitive people.  They learn to be tough on the outside and tough on the inside.  Being tough on the outside is the easy part. No matter how tough I try to be on the inside, there are still things people say that really hurt me, and they have no idea why, so I just keep it to myself.  I often worry that I am going to hurt someone's feelings or make someone mad. If I do make a mistake and say something I think I shouldn't, I always talk to the person to apologize. I'm often met with a comment like, "What are you talking about? I didn't think that was mean at all."

And then I go home and run. I can't wait for the day when I can run through heaven, and never get tired, and not have to stop because my knees are hurting.  And I can run and not have a heavy heart, and all the music I listen to is praise to God for bringing me safely home, passing through a hurting world.
When I meet a sensitive soul at school, I always encourage them to run. "Why?" they ask.

"Because it will make you feel better. Trust me."

Vincennes Aviation and Maintenance Training Center

This week we went on our "Don't Fear the Future" field trips. One of the places we went to was the Vincennes University Aviation Training Center in Indianapolis. This was a neat place for those interested in this career. Students can attend here and learn every aspect of airplane maintenance and be ready for employment upon graduation.  The school has many different training labs where students spend weeks at a time.  They learn how take apart and put together turbine engines, how to rivet, mold and shape fiberglass, wiring for all the small parts in a plane (sprinkler systems, etc), among other things.

Students who graduate can begin a career with any airline making $23/hr and can quickly move up to earning much more than that. This is a good option for those who are mechanically inclined, as graduates are sought after in many other industries where maintenance skills are needed. Vincennes University is very affordable, as tuition is comparable to Ivy Tech Community College.  Students must be detail oriented, have good problem solving skills, and have the tenacity to study and learn all the aspects of airplane maintenance. I was really impressed with this facility and anyone who is mechanically inclined should consider getting training here.

For more information click on this link: Vincennes University Aviation Training Center

Smart Phone Effects on Today's Teens

My commentary is not going to be much, because this long article is well worth the read. This researcher and writer addresses the serious issues cell phones impose on our current generation of teenagers. Please read it here: Have Smart Phones Destroyed a Generation?

In summary, this article addresses the following phenomena of the cell phone generation:
1. Teens are getting less sleep
2. Teens are showing higher rates of depression
3. Teens are less likely to start driving at age 16
4. Teens are less likely to date, go out with friends, or have sex
5. Teens are spending less time with parents even though they are at home
6. Teens are feeling lonelier and more left out (due to social media cyberbullying and kids who are getting together posting pictures)
7. Teens spend an average of 2.5 hours a day on devices (I think it is definitely higher in some cases)

If you are wondering if your teen is addicted to cell phone use, here is another helpful article:
New Ways to Detect Cell Phone Addiction

Teenagers in Foster Care Should NOT Be Adopted

In a world where kids in foster care are wanting to belong, and people want to show their goodwill by taking in these damaged souls, there are reasons that children in 9th grade and beyond should not be adopted from foster care. I am confident that I am an expert on this topic and I will explain why teenagers in foster care should not be adopted. I have two real life examples to share with you: myself and a girl we had in our care.

Foster teens who are college bound will get FREE tuition after filing the FAFSA (Free Application for Financial Aid), and there are additional transition resources to help pay for room and board (apartments and food), books, computers and transportation. Students must still meet admissions requirements for a four year college, but financial aid will apply to a Community College or accredited Career and Technical institution as well. Follow this link for additional information: 10 Facts Foster Youth Should Know

When I went to college in 1989, I was in a foster home. My guardians loved me very much, but explained to me at the time, "We are not going to adopt you because you can get a free college education." Not being adopted did not make me feel unloved, or that I did not belong in their family. All foster parents who have the perspective of their foster child's future in mind are loving because they are not focused on their own pat on the back for doing a good deed for mankind.

As a second example, we took in a teenager for her 9th, 10th and part of 11th grade school years. She did not want to be adopted, and moved out of our house before she graduated. However, when she was in 11th grade, she had a transition counselor working with her, planning for her life after high school. In Indiana, the Department of Child and Family Services provides housing for teens up to age 21 (with regulations in place- i.e., no drug use, no one else living with them, etc).  Our former student received free tuition, a free apartment, free childcare, and extra living expenses after filing the FAFSA Free Application for Federal Student Aid. As far as we know, she paid nothing for her first year of college.

I do want to insert here that younger children and special needs children SHOULD be considered for adoption because there are a lot of ramifications if they are not adopted when eligible. For one, they are forced to move around from home to home while their case manager tries to find an adoptive home. At a young age, this is developmentally damaging to children. Moving and being insecure can cause mental and emotional damage that could last throughout a lifetime. Being adopted also reduces the financial burden on taxpayers, which is a fact.

If you have questions about financial aid, please go to the FAFSA website or contact a school counselor.

Career & Technical Education (CTE)

Vocational School has come a long way. Those my age and older (I am 46) will remember attending high school and hearing some kids talk about going to vocational school, or the Career Center. The students we knew who attended there were taking classes in Cosmetology, Auto Repair, or Construction (at least those are the three I remember). Today, it is so much more!  Students can take classes in Graphic Imaging, Precision Machining, Radio and TV Broadcasting, Landscaping Design, Health Sciences, Heating and Air - you name it. If you want to get a good idea of what I am talking about, visit the website of the CTE Center close to my school: Area 31

What I really am excited about, is that students who participate in these programs are highly likely to get a job when they graduate if they pass and get all certifications required for their field.  Almost all of the programs at Area 31 are dual credit classes, which means they receive college credit at one of the community colleges who partner with them. This increases students' opportunities for further education and jobs.

I just received a mailing from my state representative in Indiana discussing new legislature and he states that, "A new law aligns career and technical education programs with current and future employer needs to help fill the nearly 30,000 job openings in Indiana."  Our schools are changing their programs to meet the specific needs of employers.  Now we need to recruit for these programs.

I get several calls each year from industries asking if we have students who want to work, and they are willing to train them. Most of these jobs for untrained workers start their base pay at $13 or $14 per hour, which is double that of food service and retail.

A barrier I run into as a school counselor is that more and more of today's students want to work less than 40 hours a week, and they don't really want to work that hard. We are doing our part to try to get students interested in these programs, and my school, Harris Academy, requires all sophomores who attend to apply for CTE classes for their junior year. Next year, approximately 40 of our 170 students will be attending Area 31. I am very proud of our students. The key is to keep giving them the facts and the information about the opportunities that are out there. If we get excited about it, students who are not traditional college bound students will get excited about it too. One language that both young and old understand from birth is money. When students see their earning potential matched with something they like, they will be successful!

Watch The Bad Kids Documentary on Netflix

"The number one reason a student drops out is not having a relationship with a caring adult."

A parent of one of my students recommended the documentary "The Bad Kids".  It paints a really good picture of what our alternative school is like, except these students have a little more socio-economic struggle. The only thing I wish producers had done, was not named the documentary "The Bad Kids." What it really is about, is students who have a lot of aimless talent, who have been trying to overcome life challenges. Many of them hate school and have gotten behind on credits.  It also highlights the emotional toll working and caring for these teens can take on staff members.

All educators and parents of challenging students will appreciate this documentary.  The documentary highlights three or four students in particular and follows them through their time at school.  Most students who attend Black Rock eventually graduate due to the caring staff at Black Rock Continuation High School, as well as their own change of heart and mindset.  There are always a couple of students, who are in the minority, who don't make it, because they can't seem to overcome the mental hurdle it takes to focus on graduation instead of what is going on at home.

This film highlights the students' dire situations without displaying the shocking details. Much of it is in conversation on school grounds and interviews. Some scenes are filmed at the students, houses or at after school gatherings.  This is a great American human interest story.

Here is a link to the movie page and trailer: The Bad Kids  If you have an hour and forty one minutes to spare, please take the time to watch this.  It's inspirational. It highlights successes and failures, and the reality of being a human teenager.