Waiting for Superman

I use summer time to try to read books, watch movies, or take classes that will help me be a better school counselor. I finally had a chance to sit down and watch "Waiting for Superman," a documentary regarding our nation's public school systems. I am more disheartened after watching it, and there is no doubt it was intended to create emotional feelings about our schools, and about our nation.

Here are some questions I have after watching this documentary:

Why is it that we have enough doctors to serve every person in America, but not enough good teachers?

Do teachers go into the teaching profession for the wrong reasons?

Why does it seem normal to have lotteries in inner city districts for children to be able to get a good education by getting admitted to a charter school or public/private academy that they have to pay for out of their meager earnings? (Many are single parents!)

Why are public school tax dollars distributed to create charter schools where there are limited spaces, and leave the rest of the children to attend failing schools?

Why is America so far behind other nations? Why don't we go to other countries and try to learn from what they are doing right?

America spends $33,00 per year on a prisoner and $8300 per year on a student.

I'm just not sure I get it. I am convinced that every child is born with an average to high IQ in SOME area. Yes, some kids are born with mental disabilities that prevent them from obtaining a traditional education, but just because a student is born into poverty doesn't mean he or she is born with a low IQ.

And what about parents who have no way to even think about paying for their student to attend a private school or academy, or moving to the suburbs? Their children are automatically doomed to attend a failing school. It is really discouraging.

If I can't be a Superman, can I in anyway be a Wonder Woman?? If I find any answers to my questions, I'll be sure to let you know, but I think my questions will lead to only more questions. My next quest will be to get a hold of "The Bee Eater: Michelle Rhee Takes on the Nation's Worst School District" by Richard Whitmire. That school district, in case you haven't heard, is the District of Columbia in Washington D.C.

It's so frustrating to want to be an agent of change, but not really be able to do much about it. I know, it starts with me, in my own school district. That is why I read about and watch these types of movies. It motivates me to do a check with myself: am I doing ALL I can to advocate for students? Am I doing ALL I can to make sure students I interact with know I EXPECT them to do well? Circumstances are not an excuse to do poorly in school. Period.

And from personal experience, you can overcome terrible life circumstances and be a successful adult. The frustration comes from trying to teach inner motivation to every student. They have to know they CAN put aside their own particular struggles and move on. It's a choice. A hard choice, but it can be done!

What Race Are you Running?

Are you a sprinter or a distance runner? I have enjoyed watching many track meets this spring. Kids choose which events they want to run at the beginning of the season. There are many sprinters, but few distance runners. I wonder why that is?

Sprinters jump out of the blocks ready, with explosive energy, wanting to be the fastest, the best, and wanting the race to be over quickly. Distance runners get a slow start off the finish line, planning their pace to make it to the end. They too want to be the fastest and the best, but they know if they go too fast at the beginning, they won't make it to the end- they'll burn out.

Neither sprinters or distance runners are better than the other. Both have different muscles geared better for sprints or distance. Both work hard in what they do. I have noticed that some people seem to value "sprinters" more in life- always up front with what they want to do and seem to get things accomplished quickly, while "distance" runners often take their time to think through every angle and carefully plan their course. I think each can learn from the other "muscle" group.

We need to be sure we are valuing both types of personalities, because we can learn a lot from each one. Both have the same goal in mind: to make it to the finish line and train to be the best in their event.

In life, pick your race, and strive to be the best, and don't forget to value and appreciate those in the other events.

You Just Know When You Need A Break

Today is the first day of the month of May and the last four weeks of the '10-11 school year. To say this has been an emotionally draining year is an understatement. There have been so many things, and something different each week. I really think I need the summer to process all of this, or maybe to just forget about it!

I am thankful I will have this group of students for one more year as 8th graders. I plan to get my few weeks of rest and go at it full swing in the fall. I have nothing to lose! My mission will be the same- to get to know the students better and to just take one day at a time, helping them prepare for high school as much as is possible.

Will my presence make a dent in their lives? Who knows? It's not really my place to worry about that. My job is to be heaven's heart and hands and leave the rest to God.

I pray the last four weeks of school are filled with joy and sunshine and that my students have a great summer and that we all come back prepared to have a great year!

A Poem by Tykail Mae

I really liked this poem that Tykail (one of my students) shared with me. She gave me permission to put it on my blog. She is a really good writer. She gave me another poem that I may post in the future. I hope you enjoy it. It makes me think a lot about teenagers and the emotions and circumstances they face on a daily basis.
In My Shoes
Put yourself in my shoes
Feel my pain
The dirt, the sorrow, being ashamed
-the ones you loved
-just be confused
Put yourself in my lonely shoes
Do you ever think
When you spit dirt on my name
Blast me out, call me names
Put yourself in my shoes
It just isn’t the same
-Is there a God Is he really real 14 years old,
do you Know how I feel?
Am I pretty
Or just a blob I’m not like the rest
That click, that mob
-Put yourself in my shoes
-I’m nobody, somebody
Mixed emotion
In this young girls’ lobby
-Feel my pain, do you know how it feels
-It’s not the same, yet-
“In my shoes, it’s all real.”

I Had to Laugh

I looked back at a post in February where I said, Snow Days are Good Days, and now I am sitting at home on Spring Break thinking, "Snow Days are Bad Days," as flakes flew listlessly outside my window this morning, and the sun is nowhere to be seen. I have been feeling a bit sorry for myself for not being in Florida with the other 50% of my town, but if I were there, would I be feeling relaxed, or just wondering if I'm going to be stressed coming back home to a house that needs to be cleaned and nothing done at home that I cherish days off for?

I have not had a terrible spring break, other than fighting a cold, but today is better and we still have two days plus the weekend coming up. I have enoyed spending time with my girls and two friends. My friend Rachel is very dear to me~ we met in college, and how we met there is quite another story, but I am so thankful to God for her. While our visits are limited to two a year right now due to both having kids and being caught up in their activities and work, I know that she will always be my friend.

One of my newer friends in the last two years came over today with her small children, and it was fun to just sit and visit with her and be reminded of my girls' stages when they were very small.

The other things I have done so far this week is clean a corner of my garage, make a homemade potato soup, and bake some monster cookies. I love to cook and bake, so having days I can do that are rare, but fun. I may even try to load up a picture of the soup and cookies for you. Do you want some?

Four Thousand E-mails

Wanting to keep my entry lighthearted this time, I thought hard about a topic that still relates to school counseling. While sitting at my school computer, I had an "a ha!" moment. I spend almost 3 hours a day looking at my computer screen and either making phone calls or sending e-mails. The other 4 hours I actually get to talk to kids, attend meetings, and work on various projects.

So, the day I had this idea, I looked in my e-mail "trash" bin. I had 4150 e-mails and the last date I emptied it was on November 23rd. So from November 23rd to February 22, I had 4150 e-mails. So, I decided to break that down. That was 11 weeks of school minus Saturdays and Sundays. That leaves me with 5 work days a week times 11 weeks. So 4150 e-mails divided by 55 work days equals 75 e-mails per day? Could that be possible??!! I walked over to my wall calendar and counted the days, subtracting Thanksgiving and Christmas break. Yep, that's my average amount of e-mails to read per day. If each one averages 30 seconds to read, and 1 1/2 minutes to respond, then 2 minutes per e-mail would be 2 1/2 hours per day spent reading and answering e-mails.

So what in the world could be the content of that many e-mails per day? Luckily some of them I can delete right away. We have a "BBay" listserve (sorta like Ebay), and I can delete those e-mails without reading them (maybe 5 per day average). Those are the easy ones to eliminate. The others are from various school employees and parents (and yes a few from my husband as that's the best way to communicate about the evening activities for the girls). I get e-mails from the Tech Department, the other counselors, my assistant principal, my principal, teachers, and parents~ all of which require a timely response most of the time.

Sometimes I prefer not to answer e-mail, but instead go to the person who sent me the e-mail and talk with them, or pick up the phone and call someone. So, that actually takes MORE than 2 minutes per e-mail, which leads me to my next Math problem . . . .

There Was an "Old" Woman Who Lived in a School

. . . She Had So Many Children, She Didn't Know What to Do!!

I feel like the old woman who lived in a shoe, but unlike her, I refuse to live out the nursery rhyme:

"she gave them some broth without any bread, then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed."

Instead, I'd like to rearrange the words a bit:

There was an "old" woman who lived in a school

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do

She gave them advice, to put in their head

Told them to eat well, and go early to bed.

I know that sounds silly, but I am at my wits end a lot of days with all the requests to come talk to me and not enough time to take care of each one. Unlike the old woman, I want to take care of each of their needs and requests. I don't have a simple solution or answer, when I have 345 students in my care, but I do view the students as my children while they are in the school building. I try to treat them as their parents would expect that I would, and in some cases, I try to treat them better!

There is a recommended ratio of 1 to 250 students, which would help tremendously if each school would follow that guideline, but unfortunately, it is an area where more money would be needed, and in this time of economic crisis, it is actually being taken away. Mental health issues among young people are on the rise and I am at a loss as to what the answer is. I only pray that each parent out there loves and cherishes his/her child so that the child doesn't need to see a school counselor. Idealistic, maybe. Realistic? I would say yes, it is realistic to expect that from parents. Actual? No, I think some parents are too overwhelmed and burdened trying to manage their own mental health that their children's often suffer, even if not intentionally.

For now, I will continue to feel like I have so many children I don't know what to do, and be glad that I have a job to go to every day where I can do what I can!