Taylor's Gift: a Book about Grief and Organ Donation

I love to read, but rarely do I do any book reviews. I was so touched by this book, I just had to share. It has a lot to do with school counseling, as occasionally during our career, a student in our school passes away from cancer or a car accident.  This book is written from the perspective of the grieving parents, and I know it took a lot of courage to share their raw emotions with whomever reads this.  Grief is probably the one area in counseling that I feel inadequate to really help- each grieving person needs to go through the stages and there is no right or wrong answer about the amount of time it should take. The best we can do as counselors is to listen and give advice when appropriate.

This book centers around Taylor, a 13 year old girl who lost her life in a terrible ski accident in 2010, and her parents' decision to donate her organs. In the book, they introduce the recipients of her organs and share how they got to meet each one.  It is also a story about their faith and how God communicated with them to give them peace and find a purpose in their grief.

The passion of the parents, Todd and Tara, was to start a foundation to raise awareness of organ donation and to increase the number of registered donors after discovering how few (especially in their home state of Texas), there actually were.

If you want a good summer book, grab this one from your local library, e-bookstore, or bookstore, but be sure to have a box of kleenex handy. You will probably read it in a week like I did!  If you want to know more about their foundation and organ donation, go to www.taylorsgift.org.

What Makes Middle School Normal?

Middle school is one of those things I love and hate at the same time. I am not sure how to explain that, but anyone who works in a middle school, or has a middle school aged child (or remembers their child as a middle schooler), will totally understand! Those three "tween" years don't seem like a normal part of developmental growth, but in a lot of weird ways, they are.

Here are some observations after 7 years of being a middle school counselor.

Almost every year we have spirit week.  Undoubtedly, one of the days that student council picks is "Nerd Day." Honestly, this is the one day during the year where every student should be able to come to school and feel normal. 

I supervise lunch in the cafeteria every day. Every day I see the same sorts of things. Food being tossed when kids think I am not looking, mushy jello and ketchup smeared all over trays, grapes that were thrown at someone all over the floor, and several students manage every day to get food on their clothes. (This is what I hate about middle school). I don't know how many times I tell students to go to the bathroom and wash their hands. Clearly their parents have not taught them to use utensils to eat. However, for these three years, this is totally normal.

Many, many students make fun of others to make themselves feel better about their own awkward growth spurts. Braces, bad hair days, glasses, and jeans that are too short because of growth every 2 months seem to definitely be the norm. The philosophy is, "If I make fun of someone else, they won't notice any of these things about myself that I don't like." This is very normal behavior.

A select group like to "go out" with someone and date for a day or two, then when it doesn't work out, they each tell all their friends to hate the other person because they broke up with them for no reason. This is definitely normal!

So what are some of the good things that make middle school normal?  Lots of kids work hard and get good grades. Although some do not like school, the majority of them are eager to get up every day and come to school and strive for good grades to please their parents.

Another thing that is totally normal, is that kids love their middle school teachers. There is no doubt that people who choose to teach middle school have a good sense of humor, overlook minor mistakes, and strive to make middle school "fun." Fun times are definitely normal in middle school.

Finally, it is very normal to experience varying emotions from day to day.  One day up, excited, laughing, another day, down, sad, upset.  These emotions are not anything different from what adults experience throughout their lives. Most middle schoolers are to be commended for being kind, caring, helpful, forgiving and sorry for their mistakes.

Middle schoolers just need some extra support, boundaries, and patience from adults to get them through and help them know when it is appropriate to express their emotions.  Middle school is a time where students' brains try to catch up with their bodies, or their bodies try to catch up with their brains (whichever way you want to look at it).

If none of this stuff bothers you, then you might just be cut out to be a middle school educator!