The "Easy" College Application Process

Navigating the college application process does not have to be stressful and difficult, as most parents are led to believe through the panic that occurs in many homes at the start of junior or senior year. There are some easy "rule of thumbs" to remember:

1. During spring of junior year, have your student take the ACT, SAT or both. Most high school counselors recommend one of each test, and if scores are not desirable, retake in the fall of senior year before December 1. A student who has a GPA of 2.0 or less should probably  not take the ACT or SAT until fall of senior year, as the score is probably not going to be a good acceptance score.  If your student is 100 per cent sure they are going to Community College or for vocational training, they do not need to take either test.

2. If your child has a GPA of 2.5 or less you should automatically assume they need to start out at a Community College or get some vocational training. The good news is after a semester or year of Community College demonstrating good grades and success, your child can transfer to many four year schools to complete a four year degree if desired.  Another option if you have a low GPA but want to start out at a four year college is to research schools that have open enrollment- for example Carthage College in Wisconsin and Ferris State in Michigan.

3. Pay attention to the deadlines your high school guidance counselor sets for senior year. Colleges begin taking applications as of August 1 of the student's senior year.  Pick 3 colleges to apply to- try to narrow it down by visiting junior year or over the summer, and weed out schools that do not offer the desired major.

4. Make sure applications are complete by November 1st of senior year. Some students who are waiting for a higher GPA at semester may wait until around February 1 if the college does not have an early application deadline. Most colleges will take applications through May 1, but won't  have financial aid available for students who did not apply before December 1.

5. Parent or guarding completes the FAFSA www.fafsa.ed.gov between January 1 and March 10 (check the FAFSA website for specific state deadlines). Wait to hear from colleges about whether you qualify for additional aid. You and your parents need to decide how much you are willing to take out in student loans to make college affordable.

6. Apply to your dream school. If your grades and test scores are decent, you never know what might happen!

7. Remember- you don't have to take out a lot of loans for college. If you and your parents can't come up with the cash, start at a Community College and get a job and save some money for a year, then reapply.

When in doubt about anything concerning college admissions and financial aid, contact your high school guidance office or the admissions office of the college you want to attend.

Middle Aged Mom Moments

I am finally here, where my own mom was 25 years ago. Middle Age. It's not a terrible place to be, and I'm not sure it's even the best, as my life is not over yet, but I can tell you that it is a good place to be.
I am the mom of three teenage daughters. One by adoptions (at age 3 days), one by birth, and one came to us via foster parenting (she doesn't call me mom, but technically I am playing that role right now).

So I accidentally published this on my tablet and didn't finish it. I started this with the idea that I would think of some good middle age mom moments to share. Being the mom of teenagers is an ungrateful job. While I have good kids, the demands on my time and energy often leave me feeling exhausted and downright grouchy.

I wish that instead of asking me for money or clothes or wht is there to eat, they would ask me if they can put the dishes away or do the laundry. I sometimes wonder if I had died of my cancer last year what my house would look like. I am sure the neighbors would be calling the health department to check on my family, and we don't even have pets!

My husband is a great man nevertheless. He is alone in the house with 4 females. I wouldn' t think one less would make much of a difference. I think he secretly spends part of his day planning escape routes from us. He takes on the Driver's Ed duties. That is probably enough to put someone in an insane asylum all by itself. Overall he helps keep me sane because he DOES help with dishes and laundry.

We do teach the girls responsibility. They have chores on weeks off of school and they have to take turns mowing the lawn. They also work hard in school, are kind to others, and listen to clean music. As a mom I value these qualities much more than picking up around the house. If I had to choose one thing to spend my parenting energy on it would definitely be character building over cleaning.

That is my middle aged mom moment for the day!

What is it Like to Work at an "Academy"?

As I start my 19th year as a school counselor, I am digging deep to learn a new position.  I have been a middle school counselor for the past seven years, and a high school counselor the previous 6, and even before that I spent 5 years as an elementary counselor. I started a new position this year at our extension school, mostly known as the alternative school, which is named Harris Academy. Our district would like to change it's image from that of an alternative school (in a negative connotation) to more of a place where students can go as an intervention when they are not being successful at a much larger school. We are indeed alternative, but in a positive way.

For example, our high school has almost 2400 students, and we have about 140 students in grades 9-12. We have 5 class periods a day versus 7, and students can take a hybrid of teacher led classes (no more than 16 in each class), and online classes. If they move at a fast pace, they can complete more online courses. We also work on the quarter system rather than the semester. Students take block classes for 9 weeks, earning credits at a little bit faster pace.  One of our goals this year is to implement opportunities for dual college credit and technical honors diplomas for the students.

This is a great opportunity for those behind on credits to catch up and graduate with their class. It also is an opportunity for some kids who feel the need to start working early to go out and live on their own or save for college to attend for half a day.
In addition we have a "one room schoolhouse" for 7th and 8th grade students from our district who need an extra push, or small setting, to "get themselves together" before entering high school.

The kids situations and personalities vary widely. Each student is very unique and doesn't feel that the bigger school setting is for them. I am learning a new position, making new friends with colleagues, and getting to know new students. All of this is very overwhelming to my brain at times.
I have the support of five wonderful counselors at the high school as well as our new director.  I am positive that it will be a great experience and I look forward to reporting back to my blog at the end of the year for a summary of the first year in my new position.

Taylor's Gift: a Book about Grief and Organ Donation

I love to read, but rarely do I do any book reviews. I was so touched by this book, I just had to share. It has a lot to do with school counseling, as occasionally during our career, a student in our school passes away from cancer or a car accident.  This book is written from the perspective of the grieving parents, and I know it took a lot of courage to share their raw emotions with whomever reads this.  Grief is probably the one area in counseling that I feel inadequate to really help- each grieving person needs to go through the stages and there is no right or wrong answer about the amount of time it should take. The best we can do as counselors is to listen and give advice when appropriate.

This book centers around Taylor, a 13 year old girl who lost her life in a terrible ski accident in 2010, and her parents' decision to donate her organs. In the book, they introduce the recipients of her organs and share how they got to meet each one.  It is also a story about their faith and how God communicated with them to give them peace and find a purpose in their grief.

The passion of the parents, Todd and Tara, was to start a foundation to raise awareness of organ donation and to increase the number of registered donors after discovering how few (especially in their home state of Texas), there actually were.

If you want a good summer book, grab this one from your local library, e-bookstore, or bookstore, but be sure to have a box of kleenex handy. You will probably read it in a week like I did!  If you want to know more about their foundation and organ donation, go to www.taylorsgift.org.

What Makes Middle School Normal?

Middle school is one of those things I love and hate at the same time. I am not sure how to explain that, but anyone who works in a middle school, or has a middle school aged child (or remembers their child as a middle schooler), will totally understand! Those three "tween" years don't seem like a normal part of developmental growth, but in a lot of weird ways, they are.

Here are some observations after 7 years of being a middle school counselor.

Almost every year we have spirit week.  Undoubtedly, one of the days that student council picks is "Nerd Day." Honestly, this is the one day during the year where every student should be able to come to school and feel normal. 

I supervise lunch in the cafeteria every day. Every day I see the same sorts of things. Food being tossed when kids think I am not looking, mushy jello and ketchup smeared all over trays, grapes that were thrown at someone all over the floor, and several students manage every day to get food on their clothes. (This is what I hate about middle school). I don't know how many times I tell students to go to the bathroom and wash their hands. Clearly their parents have not taught them to use utensils to eat. However, for these three years, this is totally normal.

Many, many students make fun of others to make themselves feel better about their own awkward growth spurts. Braces, bad hair days, glasses, and jeans that are too short because of growth every 2 months seem to definitely be the norm. The philosophy is, "If I make fun of someone else, they won't notice any of these things about myself that I don't like." This is very normal behavior.

A select group like to "go out" with someone and date for a day or two, then when it doesn't work out, they each tell all their friends to hate the other person because they broke up with them for no reason. This is definitely normal!

So what are some of the good things that make middle school normal?  Lots of kids work hard and get good grades. Although some do not like school, the majority of them are eager to get up every day and come to school and strive for good grades to please their parents.

Another thing that is totally normal, is that kids love their middle school teachers. There is no doubt that people who choose to teach middle school have a good sense of humor, overlook minor mistakes, and strive to make middle school "fun." Fun times are definitely normal in middle school.

Finally, it is very normal to experience varying emotions from day to day.  One day up, excited, laughing, another day, down, sad, upset.  These emotions are not anything different from what adults experience throughout their lives. Most middle schoolers are to be commended for being kind, caring, helpful, forgiving and sorry for their mistakes.

Middle schoolers just need some extra support, boundaries, and patience from adults to get them through and help them know when it is appropriate to express their emotions.  Middle school is a time where students' brains try to catch up with their bodies, or their bodies try to catch up with their brains (whichever way you want to look at it).

If none of this stuff bothers you, then you might just be cut out to be a middle school educator!

1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

April of every year is Child Abuse Prevention month. It is such a difficult topic to talk about. Everyone seems to have their own definition of what it is exactly, and it is such a horrific thought to most of us, that we just put it out of our minds and pretend it doesn't really happen.

It does. Every day. To millions of children worldwide. Recently, U.S. media has covered Sex Trafficking in other countries, but I don't hear much about what is happening in our own country. Locally, we do occasionally hear of a toddler or infant dying at the hands of a drug influenced boyfriend or girlfriend. I admit that I cringe when I hear those stories, and sometimes turn the channel.

From www.childhelp.org: 

Child Abuse in America

Children are suffering from a hidden epidemic of child abuse and neglect. Every year more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States involving more than 6 million children (a report can include multiple children). The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect.
The top 3 types of abuse are 1. Neglect  2. Physical Abuse   3. Sexual Abuse
http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics/

As a school counselor, I alone make 5-6 reports per year to the Department of Child Services, mostly because I am a mandated reporter (we all are), and ANY suspicion of abuse must be reported. The Department then makes the decision as to whether they are going to investigate the case.

There is so much information about child abuse, and the main thing I want to emphasize is to be aware. If you see something, do something. Anyone can and must report suspected abuse. The national hotline is 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).

Child abuse is a type of cancer. For the person being abused, the more it happens, the more likely great damage will be done for a lifetime.  When we help stop it early, give children the treatment and care they need and deserve, they have a much higher chance of overcoming and surviving- just like cancer.

For more information, you  may also go to www.childwelfare.gov.

Inspiring Minds Want to Know

I have been thinking a lot lately about people who inspire me. There are so many it is hard to pin it down to a few. What is it about these people's qualities that inspires me? There are a few things that I think contribute to who inspires who. Different people inspire different people, but there are some people that inspire many (famous people like Martin Luther King). Here are a few foundational ideas behind people who inspire us:

1. People whose strengths are the areas where we are weak. I admire people who display qualities with ease with which I am not naturally gifted. For example, my principal, Marsha, is very eloquent in speaking. She displays confidence even when she is shaking in her shoes and she shows love even when she has to have a tough conversation with a parent, student, or staff member.  While I am very good at speaking with kids, I stumble over my words sometimes when talking to adults or speaking in front of groups of adults.  I also admire our assistant principals, Amber and Chris, who know how to discipline kids when needed with tact and fairness. I hate it when I have to discipline my own kids and I would much rather avoid discipline in any form!  Athletes and musicians would also fall into this category. We spend a lot of money on sports events and concerts to go watch people who inspire us.

2. People who have overcome great suffering or hardship.  We all love a good human survival story, whether it involves abuse, physical disabilities, terminal illnesses, cancer, wrongful imprisonment, or war veterans.  We often have no idea how much our war veterans truly suffer mentally or physically while serving in a war zone. My nephew Adam was a marine who served in Afganistan and witnessed an IED blow up his vehicle and dismember his friend.

3. People who are heroes.  "Sully," the pilot who made an emergency landing on the Hudson River and saved an entire plane load of people is one recent example.  Another example is those who serve in our nation's military. We often do not even know to what extent they went to in order to secure our freedom or the freedom of others.  My hope is that we each have a personal hero in our own lives, whether it is a parent who raised us well, or someone who actually put their life on the line for us, or reached out to us when we were totally sinking.  One of my heroes is my high school guidance counselor who was there to listen when I was in 10th grade. 

4. People who quietly work behind the scenes to make important things happen.  While most of us crave recognition, there are those who day after day just do their job without complaining and without seeking promotion or reward, often doing work others do not want to do.  Those people inspire me.  My co-workers Rose and Laurie do this every day. It is this last category that I hope that I would be accused of inspiring someone, or maybe overcoming hardship. I have learned a lot and I would rather focus on who inspires me than who I am inspiring, but I think that one of life's goals for each of us SHOULD be to want to inspire someone in some capacity. It may be only one person, but that is enough.