Completed: Year One of Foster Parenting

March 30 is the one year anniversary of my husband and I being official foster parents. I would like to reflect a little on this, as it has had a huge impact on us over the last year. "K" came to live with us as a 14 year old, and she fit in right between our then 15 year old and 11 year old daughters. A year later, they are 16, 15, and 12. I never really imagined myself as a mom of 3 teenage daughters, and I'm sure my husband is glad to have to drive about an hour to work each day- to unwind and prepare for being around all of us!

I feel more than inadequate most days as a parent to any child- mine, foster, or even my students that I oversee at the middle school.  I know I make mistakes, and fortunately, my kids are very forgiving of me when I do- I think they all know that I readily forgive them when things don't go so smoothly on their part either. We have a good working relationship.

I really can't go into a lot of detail about "K" or her family, as everything has to remain confidential, but I can reflect on a few things I've learned.

I've learned that I'm both weaker and stronger than I thought I was. Weaker, in that, I never imagined the emotional toll foster parenting can have. Questions like, "Will her mom be OK with the way I'm raising her?", "How will she react when I tell her . . . (fill in the blank)?," or "Will she be mad because she can't . . .(fill in the blank)"?  I think with my two I've just always naturally reacted however it is parents react to their children as a natural flow from when they were babies.

With someone coming in at age 14, I tend to over think things. "K" makes observations about our family that I am not always comfortable with, even though her observations may be correct. It's sort of like having someone come in an scrutinize and point out the family dynamics even though you don't ask them to. Not that our family dynamics are "wrong," but they are VERY different from her own family dynamics.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to accomplish with my rambling, but it helps to get thoughts off of my mind- just to release them.  Overall this year has been a very stretching time in my life, and I've learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. I've learned that obeying something God tells you to do doesn't always mean it's going to be an easy task. Why doesn't He make things easy? Well, I think it's all just a part of helping us develop our character- cutting out the bad by exposing it, and filling it with new knowledge and more functional traits that will eventually contribute to the well-being of society and the time period in which we live. (Wow, that was a mouthful!)

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I know that I've made it through today.