And no, I am not talking about the month of March, I am talking about 6th graders entering and exiting their first year of middle school! I was 8th grade counselor last year and that bunch was sorta tough, so when I became 6th grade counselor this year I was like, "woo hoo, this should be a breeze." Well, it was for about 5 months, then after Christmas break it was like the hormone switch went off and kids started acting crazy and making poor choices. (I want to put in a little reminder here, though, to add perspective: I spend about 90% of my time with 10% of the kids, if you know what I mean, so when I say "they" started acting crazy, I'm really only talking about my 10%).
So, my little 10% start doing things like hitting other kids, getting ISS for poor behavior choice, continuing to disrupt class and say, "I didn't do it!", not following behavior plans the teachers set in place, those kind of things that keep my job secure. I called one student in to discuss a behavior plan that had been in place since November and he looked at me and said, "Behavior plan, what behavior plan. I didn't know I had a behavior plan." RIIIIGGGGHHHHT.
Another student wants to go live with the opposite parent, so I get word that this student asked another student to punch him/her to get a bruise so it would lead to a CPS report. Wow, was that on a CSI episode?
Many things lead to misbehavior in middle school and I know that kids are confused sometimes, don't know what they want, and generally feel lost, but sometimes when teachers and counselors spend extra time with kids to talk to them about things, I wonder why in the world don't they get it after I see them again for the same behavior?
Reminder to self: love them no matter what!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I Want to Be a Professional Athlete!
Doesn't everybody? I taught my annual career lesson today, this time to my 6th graders. As I progressed through the day I was reminded of the dream of so many students: to be a professional athlete. The career website we were using had a link to Professional Athlete and several students asked me right away after they did their survey if that was on there as a job selection. (Mind you, the results of the survey NEVER suggest Professional Athlete as a possible career opportunity).
I think it's great that kids can dream big. We counselors try never to say, "OH NO, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT." We ask them to have a back up plan and remind them that less than 1% of the population holds that as their career.
A couple of years ago I had a student at the high school I thought might actually have the chance to make it in the pro, so I insisted that he give me a signed picture before he graduated and told him I would never try to sell it on Ebay. Surprisingly, another student who graduated the same year and plays for Butler University in Indianapolis actually may have that chance. We got his autograph at the state championship celebration last year. If you follow college basketball you may recognize his name as Gordon Hayward.
Oh to be a professional athlete and enjoy fame and glory for a short time. We must remember though, that the most important jobs are usually the one no one spotlights on the evening news~and we must keep plugging away. Thanks to Brian Williams from NBC nightly news, they now have an evening clip at the end of their broadcast called "Making a Difference." It is the 3 minute highlight of my weekday evenings!
I think it's great that kids can dream big. We counselors try never to say, "OH NO, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT." We ask them to have a back up plan and remind them that less than 1% of the population holds that as their career.
A couple of years ago I had a student at the high school I thought might actually have the chance to make it in the pro, so I insisted that he give me a signed picture before he graduated and told him I would never try to sell it on Ebay. Surprisingly, another student who graduated the same year and plays for Butler University in Indianapolis actually may have that chance. We got his autograph at the state championship celebration last year. If you follow college basketball you may recognize his name as Gordon Hayward.
Oh to be a professional athlete and enjoy fame and glory for a short time. We must remember though, that the most important jobs are usually the one no one spotlights on the evening news~and we must keep plugging away. Thanks to Brian Williams from NBC nightly news, they now have an evening clip at the end of their broadcast called "Making a Difference." It is the 3 minute highlight of my weekday evenings!
Monday, March 15, 2010
What Constitutes a Good School Experience?
Everyone has a different view of their child's whole school experience from Kindergarten to whatever grade he/she is currently in. I think a major key in whether you and your child have a good experience is how well you and the school staff relate to each other over expressed concerns. As a school counselor, I find that when I take the time to listen to a parent and offer solutions, we end the conversation on a good note because they feel they are being heard and that I will follow up with them.
Parents and students who struggle sometimes have had someone in the school be rude to them, or they perceive that a staff member has been rude. Sometimes a staff member has not been rude at all but because of preconceived notions or other parents' input, they enter the conversation already assuming it's not going to go well. I tell parents to ask questions until they get the answers and help they need. Most school staff are very caring and kind, and if they are not, it needs to be addressed by an administrator.
As a parent myself, I have had a good school experience and so have my children. Perhaps it is because my children are "easy" children to have in class. Perhaps it is because I don't nag the teachers or my own kids about homework, projects or tests. Everyone has a different view of school based on their children and their own personalities, backgrounds and experiences. The best advice I can give is to go to the school expecting a positive experience and most of the time you won't be disappointed.
Parents and students who struggle sometimes have had someone in the school be rude to them, or they perceive that a staff member has been rude. Sometimes a staff member has not been rude at all but because of preconceived notions or other parents' input, they enter the conversation already assuming it's not going to go well. I tell parents to ask questions until they get the answers and help they need. Most school staff are very caring and kind, and if they are not, it needs to be addressed by an administrator.
As a parent myself, I have had a good school experience and so have my children. Perhaps it is because my children are "easy" children to have in class. Perhaps it is because I don't nag the teachers or my own kids about homework, projects or tests. Everyone has a different view of school based on their children and their own personalities, backgrounds and experiences. The best advice I can give is to go to the school expecting a positive experience and most of the time you won't be disappointed.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Frenzied Fridays . . . or Frantic Fridays?
I think one of my favorite and least favorite days of the week is Fridays. Fridays at school are pre-empted with thoughts of wondering what the day is going to bring- will it bring bad or good? The bad possibilities first: crying kids who come in with a sad, sad story, a referral from a teacher of a student with a bruise that necessitates a call to CPS, a parent upset with a teachers' decisions for the week, students who made a poor behavior choice and must be sent home for a few days . . . OR will it bring:
the positive possibilities: checking a student's grades to find out they've raised their F's to C's, having a study skills group or other kid centered group that helps me get to know my students better, having a student come down just to say "hi," because they haven't seen me in a few days, celebrating a staff member's birthday, or looking forward to a school break coming up.
There is only one thing predictable for Fridays: they're really unpredictable. Oh, and they also go by fast!
the positive possibilities: checking a student's grades to find out they've raised their F's to C's, having a study skills group or other kid centered group that helps me get to know my students better, having a student come down just to say "hi," because they haven't seen me in a few days, celebrating a staff member's birthday, or looking forward to a school break coming up.
There is only one thing predictable for Fridays: they're really unpredictable. Oh, and they also go by fast!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Moving Meltdowns
My friend recently e-mailed me about one of her children who was having a difficult time moving in the middle of a school year. Here are some of my thoughts:
Moving can be SO hard on kids! Every kid is different, but some children are especially resistant to change. They like to be safe and not have any disruptions in the normal routine. My youngest daughter doesn't like change and I remember the two times we moved when she was little she would suddenly start waking up at night and come into our room. I started putting a sleeping bag by my bed and whenever she wakes up in the night she can come in and sleep there. She still does this about once or twice a month believe it or not! That might help a child who is waking up at night to make sure he is getting his sleep. If he loses sleep he will become more anxious.
If your child is not experiencing headaches, stomachaches, or terribly bad sleeping patterns, he will probably get through this phase with your love and prayers! Some kids compare their new teacher to their other one, and maybe she's not as warm and friendly (or pretty!) You just never know sometimes what the "main" issue is.
One thing you could do if you haven't already is e-mail his teacher and ask her to make sure she says something positive to him each day. I know that sounds trite, but to a kid, it means a lot when a teacher compliments an assignment, or perhaps gives a special job to do in the classroom. The other thing you could do is get a book on moving and read it.
Do you remember the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? by Judith Viorst. Well, I saw on Amazon that they have an Alexander book about moving. I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's funny and hits on all the things your child is going through. http://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Whos-Hear-Mean-Going/dp/0689820895/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267300547&sr=8-3-catcorr
Getting involved in rec or school sports also often helps students overcome the moving meltdowns. Love and prayer is the most important thing you can do!
Moving can be SO hard on kids! Every kid is different, but some children are especially resistant to change. They like to be safe and not have any disruptions in the normal routine. My youngest daughter doesn't like change and I remember the two times we moved when she was little she would suddenly start waking up at night and come into our room. I started putting a sleeping bag by my bed and whenever she wakes up in the night she can come in and sleep there. She still does this about once or twice a month believe it or not! That might help a child who is waking up at night to make sure he is getting his sleep. If he loses sleep he will become more anxious.
If your child is not experiencing headaches, stomachaches, or terribly bad sleeping patterns, he will probably get through this phase with your love and prayers! Some kids compare their new teacher to their other one, and maybe she's not as warm and friendly (or pretty!) You just never know sometimes what the "main" issue is.
One thing you could do if you haven't already is e-mail his teacher and ask her to make sure she says something positive to him each day. I know that sounds trite, but to a kid, it means a lot when a teacher compliments an assignment, or perhaps gives a special job to do in the classroom. The other thing you could do is get a book on moving and read it.
Do you remember the book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? by Judith Viorst. Well, I saw on Amazon that they have an Alexander book about moving. I haven't read it yet, but I bet it's funny and hits on all the things your child is going through. http://www.amazon.com/Alexander-Whos-Hear-Mean-Going/dp/0689820895/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267300547&sr=8-3-catcorr
Getting involved in rec or school sports also often helps students overcome the moving meltdowns. Love and prayer is the most important thing you can do!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Parent Protective Services
That sounds odd, doesn't it? I make at least 2 reports per year to Child Protective Services, and recently I have noticed that it has turned into Parent Protective Services. Last time I called to report a visible bruise, the CPS worker indicated that instead of coming to the school to interview the child, they would be making a family appointment where the parent had time to talk to the child ahead of time and help prepare them for what to say to the CPS worker.
We all hear the stories on the morning media shows of the rare occasions when children have lied because they were mad at their parents, resulting in children being taken away for a few weeks or months. That is very tragic when that happens, but over all the cases of real child abuse are increasing, not decreasing.
http://www.childhelp.org/resources/learning-center/statistics
A colleague recentlty told me that she had a child with belt marks all over his legs and when she called CPS they also made a family appointment and then sent the child home.
How many times must a child have to endure abuse before being removed from the home? How many children are losing trust in ANY adult to help them?
We all hear the stories on the morning media shows of the rare occasions when children have lied because they were mad at their parents, resulting in children being taken away for a few weeks or months. That is very tragic when that happens, but over all the cases of real child abuse are increasing, not decreasing.
http://www.childhelp.org/resources/learning-center/statistics
A colleague recentlty told me that she had a child with belt marks all over his legs and when she called CPS they also made a family appointment and then sent the child home.
How many times must a child have to endure abuse before being removed from the home? How many children are losing trust in ANY adult to help them?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
My Inspiration
The desire to become a school counselor started way back in high school. As I blog, you will see glimpses of my past that tie to my present career. I don't want to write my entire history in one blog because it would take way too long and you would lose interest!
I will tell you that my inspiration to become a school counselor came from my high school counselor, Al Jackson, to whom I dedicate this site. He listened when I thought no one would and the best thing about him is he didn't tell me what to do when I was in a dire situation. He just LISTENED. In listening, you will find that your child (middle and high school age) will eventually come to their own conclusions about what they should do. Advice and guidance given at the appropriate times is "worth it's weight in gold."
I would also like to thank Janice Dean, my high school yearbook advisor, who helped me develop my love for writing, layouts and picture taking when I was her yearbook editor.
I will tell you that my inspiration to become a school counselor came from my high school counselor, Al Jackson, to whom I dedicate this site. He listened when I thought no one would and the best thing about him is he didn't tell me what to do when I was in a dire situation. He just LISTENED. In listening, you will find that your child (middle and high school age) will eventually come to their own conclusions about what they should do. Advice and guidance given at the appropriate times is "worth it's weight in gold."
I would also like to thank Janice Dean, my high school yearbook advisor, who helped me develop my love for writing, layouts and picture taking when I was her yearbook editor.
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