A Loss For Words

In my previous entry as I was anticipating the start of a new school year I asked that God help me be his hands, feet and heart this year. So far, He has not let me down! As I thought about what my first entry of the school year would be, I struggled with my thoughts. I want my journal entries to reflect the job of a school counselor, but I don't want the reader to misunderstand what I am trying to say. I don't want specific examples of students and their situations to be a generalization of the entire school population.

It has been a very emotionally draining start to the school year, probably the most in my 15 years as a school counselor. Usually this sort of emotional drain starts more like January or February, but the onset has been early this year. Indicative of the rest of the school year? I have no idea.

Let me summarize some of what has happened in the first two weeks without being too specific. A student whose brother died over the summer comes for a daily check in, to make sure someone is there for her, a student is awaiting her mom's last breath from a terrible bout of cancer, a couple of students have had some things happen in their lives for which I had to make a CPS report, some parents have come in to meet with me about their children's medical issues for which they are concerned and want to make sure their children have the proper school support, a student's relative is found dead not too long after returning from service in Iraq, a student's parent has a life threatening surgery the first day of school.

I could probably go on if I sit here long enough to think about it. I wouldn't trade this job for anything right now, because I sense that I have a lot to learn this year, and hopefully God will give me the strength to give each child or family whatever it is that I am able to give.

Don't forget there are a lot of good students who do great things, and I will be sure to have some postings about them this year, so keep reading!

Goals 2010-2011

It's always good to have goals at the start of a new school year. It's sort of like New Years' resolutions in August. I love being a school counselor, but I am always trying to think of ways to be a BETTER school counselor.

Last year I had a goal of trying to reach out to some of the boys in my grade so that I could try to build a positive relationship with them through the next 3 years. I know that it is very hard sometimes for females to gain the respect and trust of at risk boys, but I always aim to try, if you know what I mean. Who can blame them for not wanting to trust a "counselor." I mean, it's so embarrassing to get the "blue pass" from the counselor! Since I know this about boys (and girls), I also make it a goal every year to make the first visit with me a sort of fun, get to know me/you visit. I have lots of fun things in my office and I try to work on building that relationship right away, so that they know I am trying to understand them and will trust me more when they get into BIG trouble at school.

Back to my goal of reaching these at risk boys. I sort of made that goal last school year. I was very frustrated at times because I had many 6th grade boys get into trouble and end the year on behavior plans. Most of those boys spent a good deal of time with me, as I tried to build that relationship while also showing them videos and discussing proper behavior, and anger management, and study skills. Sooo, my challenge is going to be to build on that goal this year~ to seek a new way of talking through issues and getting the boys to understand that the best time to make changes in attitudes and behavior is now, and that whatever they do now can affect their future in high school, both the good aspects and the bad.

I'm sure I will not be disappointed this year. I always try to take the time each year to ask God (at least once!) to bring kids and parents to my office who need a touch of His love.

Summary of goals: to love the kids more, and to help them move towards positive behavior changes in their lives.

His Hands, His Feet, His Heart

When you live and work in the same community, you are bound to know someone, or know someone who knows someone, when a sad event happens. When you work in the school system, you tend to know even more people from having so many families' children attend the school over the years. I have been in this town now for 7 school years. Each year there is some sort of tragedy that affects a big portion of the school community.

This past year a young man at our other middle school died in a house fire, a dad of another student died suddenly of a heart attack, and several other things happened. Over the last 15 years I have had probably 5 or 6 students, or former students, pass away. I have had that many other students who have lost a parent, and numerous kids lose their beloved grandparents each year.

This summer has been no exception. I just returned from a calling for a mom of a girl I had for four years who just passed away. Two weeks ago her younger sister died in a car accident right here in our town at a main intersection. I had her as a student for two years at the high school.
Two days after Katy's car accident, the older brother of one of my middle school students this past year died in a tragic accident in a friends' driveway. He fell off the back of the car and hit his head.
I was comforted to know that both of these young people's organs were donated to save other peoples lives so they can spend more time on earth with their loved ones.
I write this entry to say that I am constantly tryng to figure out how I can be an encouragmeent to students and their families when they go through these tough trials. God has called me to this career in order to be His hands and feet, and His heart. Sometimes I am frustrated if I don't feel like I am doing or saying enough to help. I just have to be aware of the needs around me and offer assistance whenever I can and show God's love as much as possible. I believe that is true for every one of us in our sphere of influence, we all come into contact with people every day. Are we doing what we can to show God's love and be His Hands and His Feet and His Heart?

New Look for My Blog

I changed the design of my blog and look forward to spending some time researching and adding to my helpful tabs at the top.

I hope everyone is having a great start to the summer. I am enjoying a much needed rest from middle school, and enjoying spending time with my two daughters.

Chores for the Bored

Beating the summer boredom onset is a tough challenge. We give our kids extra things they must do each day to earn fun time at the neighborhood pool as well as TV time. For example, they have to pick up their clothes in their room and bathroom, read for 30 minutes, help with dinner preparation or clean up depending on their day, and do basic morning stuff, like actually change out of pajamas (ashamed to say I must put that on a list), comb hair, and brush teeth.

A friend posted this article on her FaceBook and I thought it was very relevant:

http://community.todaymoms.com/_news/2010/06/03/4456617-five-secrets-to-stop-the-entitlement-epidemic

This article posted on the Today Show website is really good. Has great tips for helping your children appreciate what they have by giving them responsibilities around the house. We have tried this at our house and it works really well! Now that summer is here, we are starting our summer activities full swing!
Our kids will also lose money depending on how well they complete their "chores" (yes, I still like that word) each week.

Another Case of "When Good Kids Do Great Things"(click on title to see pictures)

For love of the game

By Rick Reilly
ESPN.com
Archive

Marshall softball players Antanai Coleman, left, and Taylor Stigger try on catching gear with the help of Roncalli junior varsity coach Jeff Traylor.

We live in a world where Peyton Manning walks off the Super Bowl field without shaking anybody’s hand. Where Tiger Woods leaves the Masters without a word of thanks to the fans or congratulations to the winner. Where NFL lineman Albert Haynesworth kicks a man’s helmetless head without a thought.

So if you think sportsmanship is toast, this next story is an all-you-can-eat buffet to a starving man.

It happened at a junior varsity girls’ softball game in Indianapolis this spring. After an inning and a half, Roncalli was womanhandling inner-city Marshall Community. Marshall pitchers had already walked nine Roncalli batters. The game could’ve been 50-0 with no problem.

Yes, a team that hadn’t lost a game in 2½ years, a team that was going to win in a landslide purposely offered to declare defeat. Why? Because Roncalli wanted to spend the two hours teaching the Marshall girls how to get better, not how to get humiliated.

It’s no wonder. This was the first softball game in Marshall history. A middle school trying to move up to include grades 6 through 12, Marshall showed up to the game with five balls, two bats, no helmets, no sliding pads, no cleats, 16 players who’d never played before, and a coach who’d never even seen a game.

One Marshall player asked, “Which one is first base?” Another: “How do I hold this bat?” They didn’t know where to stand in the batter’s box. Their coaches had to be shown where the first- and third-base coaching boxes were.

That’s when Roncalli did something crazy. It offered to forfeit.

Yes, a team that hadn’t lost a game in 2½ years, a team that was going to win in a landslide purposely offered to declare defeat. Why? Because Roncalli wanted to spend the two hours teaching the Marshall girls how to get better, not how to get humiliated.

“The Marshall players did NOT want to quit,” wrote Roncalli JV coach Jeff Traylor, in recalling the incident. “They were willing to lose 100 to 0 if it meant they finished their first game.” But the Marshall players finally decided if Roncalli was willing to forfeit for them, they should do it for themselves. They decided that maybe — this one time — losing was actually winning.

That’s about when the weirdest scene broke out all over the field: Roncalli kids teaching Marshall kids the right batting stance, throwing them soft-toss in the outfield, teaching them how to play catch. They showed them how to put on catching gear, how to pitch, and how to run the bases. Even the umps stuck around to watch.

“One at a time the Marshall girls would come in to hit off of the [Roncalli] pitchers,” Traylor recalled. “As they hit the ball their faces LIT UP! They were high fiving and hugging the girls from Roncalli, thanking them for teaching to them the game.”

This is the kind of thing that can backfire with teenagers — the rich kids taking pity on the inner-city kids kind of thing. Traylor was afraid of it, too.

“One wrong attitude, one babying approach from our players would shut down the Marshall team, who already were down,” wrote Traylor. “But our girls made me as proud as I have ever been. … [By the end], you could tell they were having a blast. The change from the beginning of the game to the end of the practice was amazing.”

Roncalli High School’s girls’ softball team demonstrated true compassion to Marshall High.

Roncalli wasn’t done. Traylor asked all the parents of his players and anybody else he knew for more help for Marshall — used bats, gloves, helmets, money for cleats, gloves, sliders, socks and team shirts. They came up with $2,500 and worked with Marshall on the best way to help the program with that money. Roncalli also connected Marshall with former Bishop Chatard coach Kim Wright, who will advise the program.

“We probably got to some things 10 years quicker than we would have had without Roncalli,” says Marshall principal Michael Sullivan.

And that was just the appetizer. A rep from Reebok called Sullivan and said, “What do you need? We’ll get it for you.” A man who owns an indoor batting cage facility has offered free time in the winter. The Cincinnati Reds are donating good dirt for the new field Marshall will play on.

“This could’ve been a thing where our kids had too much pride,” says Sullivan. “You know, ‘I’m not going to listen to anybody.’ But our kids are really thirsty to learn.”

And they are. Marshall never won a game, but actually had leads in its last three games. In fact, it went so well, the players and their parents asked if they could extend the season, so they’re looking to play AAU summer softball.

Just a thought: Major League Baseball is pulling hamstrings trying to figure out how to bring baseball back to the inner city. Maybe it should put the Roncalli and Marshall girls in charge?

Anyway, it’s not an important story, just one that squirts apple juice right in your face. And who knows? Maybe someday, Marshall will be beating Roncalli in the final inning, realize how far it has come, and forfeit again, just as a thank you.

When Good Kids Do Great Things

In my school district we have a high number of teachers and students participate in a Service Learning Project. What this means is, students create a project that they can use to raise money for a cause or a charity. Recently one of my daughters' classes joined with a class from one of the other elementaries to invent "Pupp Putt," a miniature golf course which they designed and built to raise money for the SCI (Spinal Cord Injuries) Hope Foundation. All the money goes towards helping those who have incurred a spinal cord injury become more independent. The students and parents set up the course, sold baked goods, and charged an entrance fee whereby all proceeds went directly to the SCI Hope Foundation. The students raised almost $10,000 in one week.
In a world where people love to talk about all the bad things kids do and get into, it's nice to be a part of something that kids do to give back to their community.