Thoughts From Funerals

A death in the family or circle of friends is not easy for anyone. It's not easy because no one knows what to say, what to do, how to help. Death is a final separation of an earthly relationship and no one can step back in time to change anything. Every culture and religion has it's rituals to memorialize a person and give an opportunity for final goodbyes to be said. We are all on a spiritual journey, and for everyone, that includes death.  Grieving is a private matter. We don't judge people on how they react. We shouldn't anyway.

I have been to five funerals in five weeks. Four of them happened to be in one week. The first one was the passing of my birth mom. This week, a rare tragedy occurred. Four of our town's teenagers died in a car accident. Three of those students attended my small Harris Academy (we have approximately 160 students).

This kind of tragedy is difficult for anyone, and for teenagers who are not exposed to death as much as those of us who are aging, it is almost incomprehensible. For the community it was a shock, and opportunity to pull together and support these families and friends.

As I attended the funerals, I noticed myself wanting to hear the stories about the students that made them who they are, and how they affected those around them. The kinds of things I kept hearing were, "He made people laugh. He loved people. He hugged everyone. He had an entourage of friends everywhere he went. He was adventurous. He had a heart of gold."  As I sat through the services, I knew that everything said about the boys was sincere, and I didn't think at all that stuff was being made up to make people feel better. These boys were loved for a lot of reasons, but mostly because of the love they showed other people in their short lives.

All five of the funerals I attended this past month had pastors who spoke words of comfort from the Bible. Their messages were warm and heartfelt, pointing people to the hope we can find in God and His Son, Jesus.  Since I attended all four funerals, I also saw a lot of teenagers I hadn't seen since they were in middle school (I moved from one building to another in our district a couple of years ago). While I didn't remember every name, I did remember every face. I hugged as many as I could reach. People are important and it's good to let others know we care.

No one can be replaced (in a job yes, in a family or as a friend, no). My take away this week is to practice caring about other people more than I care about myself (Jesus mentioned this is a good idea), and to not behave in ways that cause others to wonder what my faith is, or what my priority in treating others is. If they have to think hard, then I have not lived my life the way God asked me to. This life is all about relationships and how we treat each other. Take care of others the way you would take care of yourself. And. Be merciful to those who make mistakes, because none of us can be perfect on earth. We are humans, not angels.