A Little Love Every Day

I am often amazed that when I seem to be having a rough day God brings along someone to brighten it.  Last week a student shared with me that when he goes to college, he wants to have his sister with Down's Syndrome live in the dorm with him. Today, I woke up a little grumpy (blame it on Monday), and thought the day might not be a good one. My principal cheered me up by stopping by to ask how I was doing.

Then at lunch something totally unexpected happened. A little girl walked all the way across the cafeteria to say, "Mrs. Popenfoose, I have something for you." "What's that?" I said, expecting her to pull a picture she drew with love and care out of her folder. Instead she presented me with a little box. "What's this?" I asked. "It's a necklace and earrings."  "For me?!"  "Yes. My aunt said she had too much jewelry and wanted to give me some. I told her I wouldn't wear this and she told me to give it to one of my favorite people. You are my favorite." I almost started crying right then and there. A girl who does not come to the guidance office very often, thought of me when her aunt was dishing out old jewelry. To me, it is a beautiful necklace. She boasted that it had "real diamonds" in it . . . I may never know, but coming from her, they sure are.  I will never, ever forget that gesture in a time of my life that has been very rough with some medical issues I am facing. I wonder if I could wear that necklace in the surgery room next week??

So What Exactly Do Middle School Kids Come to the Counselor For?

I often get asked, "So what exactly DO you DO as a middle school counselor?" I thought it would be fun to list in no particular order some issues I deal with on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.

1. "Someone is talking about me behind my back."  There is a real sense of paranoia in middle school. Everyone thinks someone else is laughing at them or talking about them behind their backs. In reality, probably 50-75% of kids get talked about simply because it's middle school! Everyone is self-conscious about themselves at this age, so the best thing to do is divert the attention to someone else! Isn't that obvious?

2. "I want to drop band (or orchestra)"- Those darn practice records drive away all the potential talent that could possibly make the high school band or orchestra stellar!  The last thing a middle schooler wants is to have to go home and practice an instrument for 30 minutes when they barely know what key to play in and only have a couple of chords to rehearse over and over and over. How boring is that?

3."The teacher took my phone and I need it back"- NEEDing a phone is urgent to every middle school student. It's their social connection to making sure someone likes them.

4. "I got called a name on the bus." - A VERY BAD name. Usually the student has NO IDEA why they were called a bad name. Could it be because they called someone else a name first? I always get both sides of the story. Always.

5. "I lost my . . . backpack . . . my assignment notebook . . . my lanyard . . . my . . . my . . . my."- Losing things is a very natural progression and right of passage to middle school. If a kid exits middle school without losing something, he or she is NOT NORMAL!

6. "Where do I go for detention? Where do I go for clubs? Where do I go to get picked up?"- Being in middle school is SO confusing. It's amazing they make it through the day and find their classes. The building is so big and confusing. Poor kiddos.

7."Why do you have so many absences?"- I have to talk to kids who are absent too much. Of course there are many many reasons and excuses, but middle schoolers really do get sick a lot! Their immune systems are still building up.

8. "What is the deal with these grades?"- It is my job to talk to kids who are getting D's and F's and try to help them figure out what in the world is going on. Most bad grades are due to, yep, refer to #5, LOSING homework!  Those who really do struggle, we filter through our intervention team and get them some help.

I think this is long enough for this time. I will try to think of some other fun stuff to write about my job for a future post. Have a great day. I certainly have a lot of them in middle school!